These days it is much easier for many people to travel to different countries for tourism than in the past. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Currently, more and more deeper understanding of other cultures
people
can travel various
countries easily for sightseeing than before.
In my opinion, the benefits are greater than the drawbacks because
Change preposition
to various
this
phenomenon has brought about significant positive impacts on
all over the world, especially in Change preposition
apply
economy
and understanding Correct article usage
the economy
different
Change preposition
of different
culture
.
On the one hand, it could stimulate the county’s economy because of the tourists who spend a Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
lo
of money on local food, goods, and clothes.
Correct your spelling
lot
For example
, in Thailand, where most people
work in the service industry, tourism income has contributed to a large number of tax income for the government. As a result
, the inflastructer
there has improved Correct your spelling
infrastructure
dramtically
and it affects the quality of Correct your spelling
dramatically
transportation
system positively. Correct article usage
the transportation
In addition
, this
phenomenon leads toAdd an article
a
while
people
communicate with the local people
more often. In general, it is said that it is neccesary
for us to learn foreign Correct your spelling
necessary
costoms
and historical backgrounds to reduce conflict among countries.
Correct your spelling
customs
On the other hand
, it has a notable negative impact on local society because crime
rate would be increasing as more foreigners visit the tourist destinations. Correct article usage
the crime
This
may leads
to serious problems for children and Change the verb form
lead
elderlies
who are living in Fix the agreement mistake
the elderly
tourist
Add an article
a tourist
place
. Fix the agreement mistake
places
For instance
, children would face difficulties when they commute to school and go back to their homes.
It is vital for local governments to protect students from being involved in accidents and guarantee the
safety.
Change the word
their
To sum up
, although
a
increasing number of tourists has a negative impact Change the article
an
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
for
children and older Change preposition
on
people
living in tourist’s
attractions to a certain degree, it is profitable to the nations, Change noun form
tourist
such
as improving the economy and giving oppotunities
to learn Correct your spelling
opportunities
other
cultures.Change preposition
about other
Submitted by rintaro1746 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
grammar and spelling
Be careful with grammatical errors and typographical mistakes. For instance, 'inflastructer' should be 'infrastructure' and 'oppotunities' should be 'opportunities.' Reviewing your essay for such errors can help make your writing clearer and more professional.
supporting details
Your essay could benefit from more specific and detailed examples to support your points. When you discuss the impact on a country’s economy or cultural understanding, try to provide more depth and context to make your argument stronger.
conclusion
The conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points discussed in the essay. Aim for a clearer restatement of your position and the supporting arguments to solidify your viewpoint.
balanced argument
Your essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, which shows a balanced understanding of the issue.
introduction strength
The introduction clearly outlines your stance and sets the stage for the discussion, which makes it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
linking ideas
You’ve made an effort to link ideas together, especially when discussing the impact on the economy and culture, which helps in maintaining coherence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.