Some people think that the goverment is responsible for crime prevention. Others think that it is individuals responsibility to pretocet themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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An increase in
crimes
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in countries has a great effect on resident security. some people believe the prevention of
crimes
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is the
responsibility
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of the government,
while
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some argue and think it is the individuals’
responsibility
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. I will explain both views and express my opinion. On the one hand, the implementation of governments in protecting people from criminals plays an important role.
Firstly
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, start from education when they establish the meaning of values and principles and instil it in children.
However
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, the insertion of punishments has a huge impact on preventing these criminals.
For example
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, the insertion of life imprisonment on those who kill someone intentionally leads to a decline in the percentage of murders.
On the other hand
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,
while
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some argued and saw it as the
responsibility
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of the individual there a various reasons.
Firstly
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, inhabitants and residents should practice and learn about self-defence.
therefore
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, they will ensure to protect their family.
Secondly
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, in each country or city, there are suspicious places where you see drug abuse and murder victims.
For instance
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, Mexico is a country known for
crimes
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and drug dealing
besides
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murder so that the
responsibility
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of individuals to avoid these countries. In conclusion, I believe it is the
responsibility
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of the government. Inserting these consequences and punishment by prison will decrease these
crimes
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. Nations can protect themselves by avoiding these places at night and learning about self-defence.

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task achievement
Try to provide more detailed explanations and expand on your points. For example, elaborate on how the government's role in education and punishment can systematically prevent crime.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next and that your arguments are clearly linked.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion effectively set the stage and summarize your viewpoint, providing a clear structure to your essay.
relevant specific examples
You used relevant examples, such as the life imprisonment policy and the situation in Mexico, which help to illustrate your points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • legislation
  • law enforcement
  • social programs
  • comprehensive strategies
  • personal responsibility
  • proactive measures
  • security systems
  • community-based initiatives
  • neighborhood watch
  • workshops
  • socioeconomic factors
  • crime rates
  • underlying issues
  • poverty
  • education
  • unemployment
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