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Band 5

Some people believe today that everyone has a right to access to the Internet and that governments should provide this access for free. Other people believe that access to the internet is not a right and should be paid for like other services.

#people #right #access #internet #governments #services
Nowadays, it is undeniable that the
internet
 has become an essential part of our lives.
However
, there is no absolute agreement on whether
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should provide free
access
 to
Correct article usage
the interner
show examples
interner
Correct your spelling
Internet
 or
it
Correct word choice
if it
show examples
sshould
Correct your spelling
should
 be paid for like other
services
such
 as public utilities. In
this
 essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will compare both views and give my own opinion. A
common
Change the adjective
commonly
show examples
 held belief is that
internet
 providers deserve to be paid for their
services
.
Firstly
, it is not a secret that
internet
 infrastructure needs regular maintenance to function properly,
otherwise
Add a comma
otherwise,
show examples
 there would be a lot of glitches.
Governmets
Correct your spelling
Governments
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
internet
 companies spend a lot of money to maintain
this
 service and pay
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 to staff.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, there are
internet
 servers and lines that should be
builded
Correct your spelling
built
show examples
 that
results
Add the preposition
results in
results from
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
substantial costs. If there is free
internet
 for all
people
, these companies and governments will not have resources to pay salaries and there will be no finance to provide
internet
.
As a result
, it leads to financial
crisis
Fix the agreement mistake
crises
show examples
 in
internet
 fields and demotivation of workers.
On the other hand
, some
people
 claim that
internet
access
 should be free.
For example
, they mention that nowadays all essential fields are dependent on the
internet
. From health care to banking, many essential
services
 are now offered online. Free
internet
 would allow
people
 to
access
 these
services
 without additional costs.
Otherwise
,
people
 who can not pay for the
Internet
 will be cut off from civilization. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account I would argue that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should decrease
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 price
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
internet
access
 in poor areas.
Also
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think that there should be wireless hotspots in public places.
As a result
, there still will be financial profit for companies, but It will
also
 ensure that everyone can participate in today’s digital world without barriers.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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grammar
Ensure consistent spelling and grammar to improve clarity. For example, correct 'interner' to 'internet' and other similar errors.
examples
Expand on your points with more specific examples to support your arguments and make them more convincing.
coherence
Avoid repetition of similar words or phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly saying 'free internet,' try using synonyms or varied expressions.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion which helps in presenting the arguments successfully.
content
The conclusion suggests a practical solution which is a beneficial contribution to the debate.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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