IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe today that everyone has a right to access to the Internet and that governments should provide this access for free. Other people believe that access to the internet is not a right and should be paid for like other services.

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The statement that, the working week should be shorter and
weekends
Use synonyms
 should be longer, has been one of the most disputed arguments in the modern era. In
this
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 essay, I will tackle
this
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 statement and give my personal opinion if I agree or disagree. On the one hand,
people
Use synonyms
 agree that the weekend should be longer for multiple reasons. One is, that workers should have
time
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 to rest
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because some workers work for extended periods of
time
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. A good example of
this
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 is,that I once had a friend who had a job in a catering business, he used to always complain that he wished he had more
time
Use synonyms
 to rest because his employer used to ask so much from him.
In addition
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, longer
weekends
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 mean the person gets to spend more
time
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 with their family. The perfect example of
this
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 is,that I used to not have a job, so every day was a weekend for me, I used to spend some quality
time
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 and was very comfortable with my family.
On the other hand
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,
People
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 say that extended
weekends
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 aren't very good for multiple reasons. A good reason is, that longer
weekends
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 might make an employee lazy. A very good example of
this
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 is, that if someone stays home for extended periods of
time
Use synonyms
, they will be very lazy to complete any simple task, to add more to that, when I was not working and had plenty of
time
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 at home, I was very lazy and had no motivation to complete anything.
In addition
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, longer
weekends
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 mean less pay, of course working less means you'll be paid less, you can't expect the same salary for doing less work, and some
people
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 can't afford to get paid less because many
people
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 including their families depend on their pay. In conclusion, I disagree that the working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend
,
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apply
show examples
 because extended
weekends
Use synonyms
 have more downsides than upsides.

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task achievement
Ensure you address all parts of the prompt. In this case, focus a bit more on presenting both perspectives of the argument before stating your opinion.
task achievement
Improve the clarity of your examples by making sure they directly relate to and support your main points.
coherence cohesion
Organize ideas logically and clearly within paragraphs. Consider using transition phrases to improve the flow between points.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph presents one clear idea, and use topic sentences to guide the reader.
introduction conclusion present
Good introduction and conclusion that clearly frame your argument and opinion.
supported main points
You provide personal examples to support your points, which makes the essay engaging.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • right to access
  • essential resources
  • digital economy
  • social equity
  • government responsibility
  • privately funded infrastructure
  • market dynamics
  • personal responsibility
  • fundamental right
  • user fees
  • innovation
  • economic growth
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