Nowadays people use social media to keep in touch with others and be aware of the news. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that people started to use social media for communication and watch
news
from Add an article
the news
smartphone
to Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
now
what Correct your spelling
know
happens
around them. It is undeniable that Wrong verb form
is happening
network
become an essential part of our life. Fix the agreement mistake
networks
However
, there is no absolute agreement as some people find beneficial
, Correct pronoun usage
it beneficial
while
others consider everything associated with social media negatively. Surely, there are both pros and cons to Add an article
the internet
internet
but I believe Capitalize word
Internet
Correct article usage
the adventages
adventages
outweigh Correct your spelling
advantages
disadvantages
.
One of the main positives of online networking platforms is that you can contact someone at any time or find something important that you need. Correct article usage
the disadvantages
While
studying in class, you need to find something and you can write a question in the browser and the answer is ready, but if you take books, this
is difficult for many because there are large texts and a lot of information. Another adventages
is that start do to something but they don't know how can start. For Correct your spelling
advantage
advantages
inctance
someone Correct your spelling
instance
Correct pronoun usage
who want
want
to start boxing and doesn’t know where to start, Change the verb form
wants
he
can turn to trainers who will help with classes and give an online training plan.
Turning to the other side of the argument, Correct pronoun usage
apply
majority
Add an article
the majority
spent
their time waste in Wrong verb form
spend
oline
social channels and Correct your spelling
online
this
will affect their future life and healthy
. Replace the word
health
As well as
, adults and children have already become addicted to smartphones, they play games and watch a lot of movies all day long.
Having weighted
everything mentionedCorrect your spelling
weighed
up
, we can come to the conclusion that you need to look at your phone, turn off notifications and log in when you need to.Change preposition
apply
Submitted by dnm.best on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of social media use. However, there are some points that seem repetitive, such as the idea of easy access to information. Ensure each paragraph contributes a unique point.
coherence cohesion
There are instances where the ideas are not clearly communicated or are somewhat fragmented. Make sure that each sentence leads logically to the next, and each idea is fully developed before moving on to the next one.
task achievement
Make sure to provide specific examples that clearly support your main points. For example, you mentioned trainers helping with boxing,—be more specific about how they help to illustrate your point effectively.
coherence cohesion
While you have an introduction and conclusion, try to make your concluding paragraph more robust by summarizing the key points you discussed in the body paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay recognizes both advantages and disadvantages, which shows a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion provides a clear stance on the argument, supporting the belief that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.