IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is this the case? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more?

#people #bicycles #form #transport #case
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that the majority use
bicycles
Use synonyms
 less than in the past. It is undeniable that
transport
Use synonyms
 has become an essential part of our life.
However
Linking Words
, these days
people
Use synonyms
 drive fuel
transport
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as
cars
Use synonyms
, buses, planes, and so on. One of the main aspects of the problem is that all
people
Use synonyms
 turned to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cars
Use synonyms
. Now
people
Use synonyms
 are beginning to realize that it will affect their health.
For instance
Linking Words
, truckers spend a lot of time in the
transport
Use synonyms
 and they could damage the lower back. One of the main reasons behind
that is
Linking Words
 we have
cars
Use synonyms
 everywhere in all states.
This
Linking Words
 could lead to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
disasters
such
Linking Words
 as waste the fresh air, road accidents or might result in into unusable land and
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a bunch of scrap metal. To tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem
people
Use synonyms
 should use
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 transports that emit a lot of waste. A good case in point is the nation must find more advantages in
bicycles
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 in daily life,
for example
Linking Words
 riding to the job or shop, it’s not in vain that you waste gas on your car and ruin your health.
This
Linking Words
 may be the easiest and so the best way
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
for people
show examples
 are
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
bicycles
Use synonyms
 less and
relying
Wrong verb form
rely
show examples
 more on
cars
Use synonyms
, which harms health and the environment. Using
bicycles
Use synonyms
 more for daily trips can reduce pollution and improve well-being. So it would not be surprising to see some
bicycles
Use synonyms
 in the future. Actions must be taken urgently,
Linking Words
otherwise
Add a comma
otherwise,
show examples
 we will get amazing life by making a concerted effort to prioritize
bicycles
Use synonyms
 and other sustainable modes of
transport
Use synonyms
, we can contribute to a healthier environment and enhance
overall
Linking Words
 well-being.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve the task achievement, ensure that all points are well explained and supported with relevant examples. For instance, provide more specific data or anecdotes about the decrease in bicycle use.
coherence cohesion
Enhance your coherence and cohesion by ensuring a more logical flow between paragraphs. For example, the transition from problem to solution can be smoother to make the essay more cohesive.
task achievement
To strengthen task achievement, ensure that ideas and arguments are developed fully. At times, the essay touches upon a point without thoroughly exploring it, which limits its impact.
task achievement
Your essay covers both parts of the prompt, discussing why people use bicycles less and suggesting solutions to encourage their use.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and give a good overview and summary of the topic.
task achievement
The essay touches upon major ideas such as health impacts, environmental concerns, and practical benefits of biking.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable transport
  • cycling infrastructure
  • bike lanes
  • bike-sharing programs
  • traffic calming measures
  • commute
  • subsidies
  • physical exertion
  • environmental benefits
  • safety regulations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: