IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

With increasing use and development of new technology, many machines are now able to do the work which people used to perform . what are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

#development #technology #machines #work #people #trend
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There is no denying the
facts
Fix the agreement mistake
fact
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 that in many
part
Change to a plural noun
parts
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 of the world
machines
 are used to perform certain tasks which
humans
 used to do.
while
 it is commonly held belief that
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 are capable
to perform
Change preposition
of performing
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 any function there is
also
 an argument that technology is more countable and more capable than
humans
this
 essay will analyse both points of view and express my opinion.
To begin
 with, there are many benefits of using
the
Correct article usage
apply
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machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
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 to perform certain jobs because they are more reliable which can lead to higher quality
Add the comma(s)
, in other words,
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in other words
humans
 can work for 8 hours straight and have the same energy but
machines
 can
in addition
 to
this
machines
 have higher efficiency and accuracy
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
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for example
 they are set not to make mistakes
Add the comma(s)
, in contrast,
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in contrast
 it is not possible for
humans
 not to make mistakes but it is possible for
machines
 and robots in terms of disadvantages higher unemployment rates it is
also
 possible to say that using lots of
machines
 will decrease the opportunities for workers which leads to several problems
such
 as poverty and rise in criminal cases
moreover
 using a lot of
machines
 can rise the prices of the product
for instance
 if you want to employ a human that will cost less
that
Correct your spelling
than
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 having a robot that needs manufacturing and lot
if
Correct your spelling
of
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 other problems in conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 tend to believe that robots can make the life easier but we should not use them over the limit.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly sets up your argument and essay structure. Try to avoid general statements like 'there is no denying the facts.' Instead, offer a specific insight into the topic for a stronger opening.
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphs to separate different points and ideas. This will help improve the overall structure and make your essay easier to follow.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples to support your points. For example, when discussing the reliability of machines, give specific scenarios where they outperform humans.
task achievement
Ensure you address both advantages and disadvantages equally, providing balanced development to both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Finish with a clear, strong conclusion that summarizes your arguments and reinforces your opinion.
task achievement
Your essay effectively covers both the advantages and disadvantages of machines replacing humans in the workplace, addressing the task requirements adequately.
task achievement
Your conclusion provides your opinion while acknowledging the complexity of the issue, which is a strong point.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have raised relevant points, such as the reliability and efficiency of machines, and the potential for higher unemployment rates, which shows clear comprehension of the topic.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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