With increasing use and development of new technology, many machines are now able to do the work which people used to perform . what are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

There is no denying the
facts
Fix the agreement mistake
fact
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that in many
part
Change to a plural noun
parts
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of the world
machines
are used to perform certain tasks which
humans
used to do.
while
it is commonly held belief that
human
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humans
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are capable
to perform
Change preposition
of performing
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any function there is
also
an argument that technology is more countable and more capable than
humans
this
essay will analyse both points of view and express my opinion.
To begin
with, there are many benefits of using
the
Correct article usage
apply
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machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
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to perform certain jobs because they are more reliable which can lead to higher quality
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, in other words,
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in other words
humans
can work for 8 hours straight and have the same energy but
machines
can
in addition
to
this
machines
have higher efficiency and accuracy
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
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for example
they are set not to make mistakes
Add the comma(s)
, in contrast,
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in contrast
it is not possible for
humans
not to make mistakes but it is possible for
machines
and robots in terms of disadvantages higher unemployment rates it is
also
possible to say that using lots of
machines
will decrease the opportunities for workers which leads to several problems
such
as poverty and rise in criminal cases
moreover
using a lot of
machines
can rise the prices of the product
for instance
if you want to employ a human that will cost less
that
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than
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having a robot that needs manufacturing and lot
if
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of
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other problems in conclusion,
i
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I
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tend to believe that robots can make the life easier but we should not use them over the limit.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly sets up your argument and essay structure. Try to avoid general statements like 'there is no denying the facts.' Instead, offer a specific insight into the topic for a stronger opening.
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphs to separate different points and ideas. This will help improve the overall structure and make your essay easier to follow.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples to support your points. For example, when discussing the reliability of machines, give specific scenarios where they outperform humans.
task achievement
Ensure you address both advantages and disadvantages equally, providing balanced development to both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Finish with a clear, strong conclusion that summarizes your arguments and reinforces your opinion.
task achievement
Your essay effectively covers both the advantages and disadvantages of machines replacing humans in the workplace, addressing the task requirements adequately.
task achievement
Your conclusion provides your opinion while acknowledging the complexity of the issue, which is a strong point.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have raised relevant points, such as the reliability and efficiency of machines, and the potential for higher unemployment rates, which shows clear comprehension of the topic.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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