Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?
It is believed that juveniles have to do volunteer
work
for the better community
without asking for any allowance. Considering all the benefits that taking part in this
unpaid work
brings to our society and youngsters, I partly agree with this
notion.
First of all, I do approve of the statement that teenagers should be encouraged to work
more for the community
as much as they can because they will decide the world
's future so they should be educated about their responsibilities to the whole world
and the local community
. Besides
, volunteering is an effective approach for them to feel a sense of community
, helping them deeply understand the needs of doing society work
.
Children
can learn how to understand other lives in
through a more comprehensive mindset, know how to share with people who are in need, and so that they can value what they did. These activities, Change preposition
apply
moreover
, can give them a chance to make use of their free time, instead
of doing useless tasks, such
as playing video games or surfing the Internet to name just a few. From an overall
perspective, both the
society and Correct article usage
apply
children
can be better and reap benefits from letting children
do some community
work
.
On the other side, working for free is no longer preferred nowadays, it means that everyone should be paid for whatever they do, not least the volunteer work
. Salaries and wages are the essential aspects that people will bear in mind when it comes to the decision to contribute to any institution. A well-paid job is a paradigm of how money will affect the attitude and final outcome. Thus
, giving even a small allowance should be a productive way to stimulate youngsters to give their hand for a better world
and raise the overall
awareness of future generations. From that, children
can value the money,
and later use their assets for the right occasions.
To end my essay, youngsters should contribute to the Remove the comma
apply
world
by doing volunteer work
, which gives them a chance to improve their overall
mindsets and communication skills. Notably, even a tiny contribution should be respected and have its own value, so that
it is not an ideal way to require Correct word choice
apply
children
doing
unpaid Change the verb form
to do
works
.Fix the agreement mistake
work
Submitted by anhduong.mth0102 on
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task achievement
Your response is complete and you address both sides of the argument well. However, some points are not fully developed, and the examples you provided could be more relevant and detailed.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured and easy to follow. However, there's room for improvement in linking your ideas more cohesively, especially within the body paragraphs.
task achievement
You clearly state your stance early in the essay, which makes your argument easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and reasonably well-crafted, which helps provide a sense of completion to the essay.
task achievement
You effectively discuss both the potential benefits for society and individuals, showing a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical flow from introduction to conclusion, making it easy to comprehend.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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