Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?
It is believed that juveniles have to do volunteer
work
for the better Use synonyms
community
without asking for any allowance. Considering all the benefits that taking part in Use synonyms
this
unpaid Linking Words
work
brings to our society and youngsters, I partly agree with Use synonyms
this
notion.
First of all, I do approve of the statement that teenagers should be encouraged to Linking Words
work
more for the Use synonyms
community
as much as they can because they will decide the Use synonyms
world
's future so they should be educated about their responsibilities to the whole Use synonyms
world
and the local Use synonyms
community
. Use synonyms
Besides
, volunteering is an effective approach for them to feel a sense of Linking Words
community
, helping them deeply understand the needs of doing society Use synonyms
work
.
Use synonyms
Children
can learn how to understand other lives Use synonyms
in
through a more comprehensive mindset, know how to share with people who are in need, and so that they can value what they did. These activities, Change preposition
apply
moreover
, can give them a chance to make use of their free time, Linking Words
instead
of doing useless tasks, Linking Words
such
as playing video games or surfing the Internet to name just a few. From an Linking Words
overall
perspective, both Linking Words
the
society and Correct article usage
apply
children
can be better and reap benefits from letting Use synonyms
children
do some Use synonyms
community
Use synonyms
work
.
On the other side, working for free is no longer preferred nowadays, it means that everyone should be paid for whatever they do, not least the volunteer Use synonyms
work
. Salaries and wages are the essential aspects that people will bear in mind when it comes to the decision to contribute to any institution. A well-paid job is a paradigm of how money will affect the attitude and final outcome. Use synonyms
Thus
, giving even a small allowance should be a productive way to stimulate youngsters to give their hand for a better Linking Words
world
and raise the Use synonyms
overall
awareness of future generations. From that, Linking Words
children
can value the moneyUse synonyms
,
and later use their assets for the right occasions.
To end my essay, youngsters should contribute to the Remove the comma
apply
world
by doing volunteer Use synonyms
work
, which gives them a chance to improve their Use synonyms
overall
mindsets and communication skills. Notably, even a tiny contribution should be respected and have its own value, so Linking Words
that
it is not an ideal way to require Correct word choice
apply
children
Use synonyms
doing
unpaid Change the verb form
to do
works
.Fix the agreement mistake
work
Submitted by anhduong.mth0102 on
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task achievement
Your response is complete and you address both sides of the argument well. However, some points are not fully developed, and the examples you provided could be more relevant and detailed.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured and easy to follow. However, there's room for improvement in linking your ideas more cohesively, especially within the body paragraphs.
task achievement
You clearly state your stance early in the essay, which makes your argument easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and reasonably well-crafted, which helps provide a sense of completion to the essay.
task achievement
You effectively discuss both the potential benefits for society and individuals, showing a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical flow from introduction to conclusion, making it easy to comprehend.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.