Some people think that in order to produce a happy society, it isnecessary to ensure that there is only a small difference between the earnings of the richest and poorest. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In modern
society
Add a comma
society,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In modern society. Consider adding a comma.

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the differences between the
rarnings
Correct your spelling
earnings

If you don’t want rarnings to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

of the richest and poorest
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has
Change the verb form
have

The singular verb has does not appear to agree with the plural subject differences. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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been an issue that sparks considerable debate amongst
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. A majority of
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

believe that it is necessary to be
small
Add an article
a small

The noun phrase small difference seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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difference
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in the earnings between
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

view
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay will provide
reasons
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples

It seems that example may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
to
support
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

my opinion. First of
all
Add a comma
all,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase First of all. Consider adding a comma.

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there
are
Change the verb form
is

The plural form of be are does not seem to agree with the singular subject multitude. Consider changing the verb form.

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multitude
Add an article
a multitude

The noun phrase multitude seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of
reasons
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

why some
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

support
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

the
view
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of should
to
Change the verb form
apply

The word to is usually unnecessary after the modal verb should. Consider removing it.

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be only
small
Correct article usage
a small

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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difference
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in earnings between
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in order to
prodoce
Correct your spelling
produce

If you don’t want prodoce to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

the
happinies
Correct your spelling
happiness

If you don’t want happinies to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

specefically
Correct your spelling
specifically

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the
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who have low incomes
for
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

example
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, Two children in school one of them
his
Correct your spelling
is

The word his doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
father has a high
sallary
Correct your spelling
salary

If you don’t want sallary to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and used to provide to his child newest mobile and the father of the other child has a low
sallary
Correct your spelling
salary

If you don’t want sallary to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and his child demanding him to bring new mobile just like his friends and it will be hard for the father to bring the
newst
Correct your spelling
newest

If you don’t want newst to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

mobile
furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in society will have same
intresets
Correct your spelling
interests

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and that
directrly
Correct your spelling
directly

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will affect
there
Replace the word
their

The word there may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

show examples
happiness.
it is clear that
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

there are many
reasons
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

support
Wrong verb form
supporting

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb support. Consider changing it.

show examples
the
view
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
Change preposition
that

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
should
Correct pronoun usage
there should

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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be only
small
Correct article usage
a small

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
difference
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

between the
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings

It seems that earning may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
of the richest and
poorest
Correct article usage
the poorest

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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.
in
Change preposition
On

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the other hand, there are a
littany
Correct your spelling
litany

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of
reasons
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

make
same
Correct your spelling
some

The word same doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

disagree with
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

view
Add an article
the view

The noun phrase view seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
of
Change preposition
that

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
it should ensure there is only a small
difference
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

between the
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings

It seems that earning may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
if
Correct your spelling
of

The word if doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
the
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. The primary cause of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

view
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that
Add a missing verb
is that

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples
, the idea did not
support
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

the economics of the countries
for
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

example
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, when
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

see their friends
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have

It seems that the verb has does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
a high income that will make
him
Correct pronoun usage
them

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
work hard to increase
his
Correct pronoun usage
their

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
income like the others which will reflect on the
economi
Correct your spelling
economy
economic

If you don’t want economi to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and might open new opertiunity for the
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
lastly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it is evident that there are
reasons
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

makes the
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

thinking in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

way. in conclusion, it is evident based on the
reasons
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
example
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

provided in the essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

show examples
firmly agree in the
view
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

thinks it is necessary to
Correct your spelling
ensure
esure
Correct your spelling
ensure

If you don’t want esure to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

that there is
Correct your spelling
only
one
onle
Correct your spelling
only

If you don’t want onle to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

small
Correct article usage
a small

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
difference
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in the earnings between
rishist
Correct your spelling
richest
resist

If you don’t want rishist to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and
poorest
Correct article usage
the poorest

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Submitted by ziyadalkhudier on

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clear comprehensive ideas
To improve clarity and comprehension, consider breaking down complex sentences into simpler ones. This will help your ideas come across more clearly and make it easier for readers to follow your argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
It is important to proofread your essay to correct spelling and grammatical errors. For example, words like 'sallary' should be 'salary', 'happinies' should be 'happiness', etc. Correcting these will make your essay more polished and professional.
complete response
Your main points and examples support your argument well, but be sure to elaborate a bit more on each point. Providing more detailed explanations for each example will strengthen your argument.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly states your position on the issue and sets the stage for the rest of the essay. This is very effective in guiding the reader through your arguments.
relevant specific examples
You provided relevant specific examples to support your argument, such as the example of children with different income backgrounds and their struggles with comparing possessions.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your position, helping to reinforce your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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