IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people use written language in a less formal and more relaxed way. Why? Does this development have advantages and disadvantages?

#people #language #development
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It is widely debated that nowadays several
people
Use synonyms
 noticeably use written
language
Use synonyms
 in an informal and relaxed way, others argue that
such
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trend
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a trend
show examples
 happened because of
alteration
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an alteration
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 of attitude in accordance with the technologies
such
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 as text
abbreviation
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abbreviations
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 or slang
in
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apply
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which can impact
the
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apply
show examples
society positively or negatively. The possible
contributor
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contributors
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 and both
point
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points
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 of view
toward
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on
show examples
this
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concerning
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apply
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issue will be
further
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 discussed in
this
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 essay.
To begin
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 with, it may seem sensible for some to believe that the rise of technology and change in
people
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's
attitude
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attitudes
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 play
key
Add an article
a key
the key
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 important role
of
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in
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this
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 less formal written
language
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 trend.
This
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 is
possibly
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possible
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 because we
lived
Wrong verb form
live
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 in a fast-paced world and
people
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did
Wrong verb form
do
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 not value the formality of
language
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 much except for official
document
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documents
show examples
. Take texts,
For example
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; the
immergence
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emergence
 of
Add an article
an abbreviation
show examples
abbreviation
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abbreviations
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 like OTW or on the way is often used in
Add an article
the message
a message
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message
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messages
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.
Therefore
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, there is
an
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apply
show examples
evident
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evidence
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shown
Wrong verb form
showing
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 that
millenial
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millennials
 youngster up to 80%
typed
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of typed
show examples
abbrevations
Correct your spelling
abbreviations
 text with friends. Many
opponent
Change to a plural noun
opponents
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 of
this
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 idea might
opposed
Verb problem
argue
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 that less formal
language
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 can create a friendly and approachable for
people
Use synonyms
 to build
up
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apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
relationship
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relationships
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. To simply explain, these
people
Use synonyms
 often
viewed
Wrong verb form
view
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 those who use formal
language
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 are strict, robotic, and not outgoing person
while
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 those who use less formal are more approachable. online shop,
for instance
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, a little less formal chat can create a lovely
converstation
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conversation
 and reduce
boundery
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boundary
 between the customer and
sellor
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seller
 which proved to gain more sales.
However
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, I personally argue in favour of using less formal written
language
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 can develop improper grammatical
langauge
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language
 seeing that using appropriate formal
language
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 can maintain the proper literacy of
people
Use synonyms
. In summary,
although
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 it is undeniable that technology and
attitude
Correct article usage
the attitude
show examples
 of
people
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 result in the change of using formal
language
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, I am of the opinion that its detrimental effect
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
outweighs
 its beneficial outcome.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

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task achievement
You have addressed the task by presenting reasons why people use informal language and discussing both the advantages and disadvantages. However, try to develop your ideas more fully and provide more specific examples. For example, explain more about how technology drives this change and give a detailed example of a disadvantage, such as a miscommunication due to informal language.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure and it is easy to follow your argument. However, you should work on enhancing the clarity and flow of your ideas. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the sentences within the paragraph support that idea. Additionally, avoid abrupt transitions and ensure that each point leads smoothly to the next.
introduction conclusion present
The essay introduces the topic and provides a clear opinion, making both the introduction and conclusion effective in summarizing the main points.
task achievement
Your essay covers both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach and a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
relevant specific examples
The use of examples, such as text abbreviations and online shopping, helps to illustrate your points and make your arguments more concrete.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • informality
  • digital communication
  • texting
  • social media
  • instant messaging
  • generational shifts
  • brevity
  • personal expression
  • language standards
  • erosion
  • interlocutors
  • emojis
  • internet slang
  • academic contexts
  • language learning
  • misunderstandings
  • language teaching
What to do next:
Look at other essays: