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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar chart shows the average count of the students per class in primary schools and lower secondary schools in 6 countries compared to the world average in 2006. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the average count of the students per class in primary schools and lower secondary schools in 6 countries compared to the world average in 2006. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The presented bar chart serves as an insightful illustration of students attending primary and lower secondary
school
Use synonyms
, on
an
Correct article usage
apply
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average in six different countries (South Korea, Japan,
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
, Mexico, Denmark, Iceland, and
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
 of the world) during 2006.
Linking Words
Overall
Correct article usage
The overall
show examples
 impression of the chart is that the
number
Use synonyms
 of attendees attending lower secondary
school
Use synonyms
 had always been higher in most of the cases.
However
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
has
Wrong verb form
had
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 the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 of children attending lower secondary in 2006. It is worth mentioning that
in
Change preposition
apply
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Soth
Correct your spelling
South
show examples
 Korea, Japan, Mexico and the world had
higher
Add an article
a higher
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number
Use synonyms
 of attendees in Lower secondary. Almost 35% of students went to
school
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 for secondary studies in South Korea and Japan, and these numbers were quite high when compared to the world,
who’s
Correct your spelling
whose
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 average stands at 28% approximately.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
UK
Use synonyms
, Denmark and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Iceland had relatively more attendees attending primary
school
Use synonyms
. In
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 more than 25% of the children went to primary
school
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 only 18% went
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 lower secondary. Denmark and Iceland had approximately
same
Correct article usage
the same
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number
Use synonyms
 of students attending both
medium
Fix the agreement mistake
mediums
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 of education i.e. approximately 20%

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words school, uk, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
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