The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#diagrams #show #changes #place #queen #mary #construction #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The maps above illustrate the transformation of Queen Mary Hospital from 1960 to 2000.

Overall

Linking Words

, the hospital

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

fully expanded its

territorial

Replace the word

territory

show examples

in 1980 and

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

developed its function as a

cancer

Use synonyms

specialist in 2000.

To begin

Linking Words

with, in 1960, there were 3 various

kind

Change to a plural noun

kinds

show examples

of buildings

besides

Linking Words

the hospital, which were the shopping

centre

Use synonyms

, farmland, and a shared

car

Use synonyms

park

Use synonyms

area.

Then

Linking Words

, moving on to 1980, the shopping

centre

Use synonyms

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

vanished and

altered

Add a missing verb

was altered

show examples

into

pharmacy

Correct article usage

a pharmacy

show examples

which was the expansion of

hospital

Correct article usage

the hospital

show examples

building and

cancer

Use synonyms

centre

Use synonyms

next to it.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the farmland

Linking Words

also

Add a missing verb

was also

show examples

renovated into

nursing

Correct article usage

a nursing

show examples

school

Use synonyms

, even though the

car

Use synonyms

park

Use synonyms

left

Add a missing verb

was left

show examples

untouched as it was. 20 years later, in 2000, the hospital gained its core speciality in

cancer

Use synonyms

treatment,

thus

Linking Words

, the

cancer

Use synonyms

centre

Use synonyms

facility expanded and

taken

Wrong verb form

took

show examples

the land that

previously

Add a missing verb

was previously

show examples

occupied as

nursing

Correct article usage

a nursing

show examples

school

Use synonyms

As a result

Linking Words

, the

school

Use synonyms

was moved to next to

Use synonyms

cancer

Add an article

the cancer

show examples

centre

Use synonyms

and built on top of

partially

Correct article usage

a partially

show examples

car

Use synonyms

park

Use synonyms

area, which has caused its size to shrink

together with

Linking Words

the

car

Use synonyms

park

Use synonyms

zone.

To sum up

Linking Words

, the maps

shows

Change the verb form

show

show examples

that the hospital continuously

growing

Wrong verb form

grown

show examples

within 40 years and successfully

advancing

Wrong verb form

advanced

show examples

its function

with

Change preposition

show examples

adding the pharmacy,

cancer

Use synonyms

centre

Use synonyms

and nursing

school

Use synonyms

Hence

Linking Words

, the hospital did not stop until in 2000,

its

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

confidently enlarged the

cancer

Use synonyms

centre

Use synonyms

facility, which showed its speciality in

cancer

Use synonyms

treatment.

Submitted by annisaseptidwiyanti on Sat Aug 10 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words cancer, centre, car, park, school with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.

▼

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

222 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

initial facilities
replacement
significant extension
absorbed
developments
introduction
adjacent
evolution
enhancing healthcare services
commercial spaces
medical facilities
expansion
modern healthcare needs

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The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara or Antarctica. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages? (Nguyen)

Some people think that certain old buildings are more worth preserving than other ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Cycling is more environmentally friendly than other forms of transport. However, it is longer the main form of transport. What are the reasons? What could be done to encourage the use of bicycle among the wider population?