IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

You had some photos of your family taken by a professional photographer. Write a letter to the photographer. In your letter: Say that you liked their photos of your family Ask them to be your photographer at a special family event Give them the details of the event.

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Dear Sir, I am writing you
this
Linking Words
 letter because I would like to share my impressions of your work.
Last
Linking Words
 week, our large family and you were at a photo session in a green garden. We looked at our photos and were impressed. Your work is amazing, I never thought I could look so beautiful. Next month we will have , especially family parties and we need a good photograph. I would like to invite you again because you are professional in your work.
This
Linking Words
 is an annual tradition in our family. We invite all our childhood friends and their children, to sit down to play board games in our living room, eat and have fun all day.
This
Linking Words
 is a special day for us and we would like to capture it in detail and colors. I hope you will accept my offer and give me feedback soon. Best wishes, Vladimir Belitskii

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task achievement
In the second paragraph, you mentioned 'Next month we will have, especially family parties' which is slightly unclear. It's better to say, 'Next month we will be having a special family party'.
coherence cohesion
Try adding an additional paragraph for more detailed information about the event. This can help improve the structure and ensure each idea is conveyed clearly.
task achievement
Your letter maintains a polite and professional tone, which is entirely suitable for the context.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are well executed, making the letter formal and respectful.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

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