Some believe that people today have no interest in maintaining the traditional culture of their country. Others believe that it is still important to people that we preserve a traditional way of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The issue of preserving traditional
culture
has sparked considerable debate in recent times.
While
some
people
argue that it is crucial for
people
to maintain the traditional way of
life
, others maintain that
people
nowadays tend to pay no attention to protecting the traditional heritage. In my opinion, I totally agree with the subsequent point of view.
This
essay will explore both sides of
this
argument before reaching a conclusion. On the one hand, there are some arguments in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
of the idea that
people
today have no interest in maintaining the traditional
culture
of their country.
To begin
with, the pursuit of economic growth and development plays a more significant role in
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
life
nowadays. They have many more things to worry about
such
as rent payments or electric bills
instead
of preserving the things from the past.
Furthermore
, rapid globalization and technological advancements have accelerated the pace of
life
, making it difficult to adhere to traditional practices.
For example
, in some big cities like Beijing or New York, we rarely see
a thing
Correct your spelling
anything
show examples
which
relate
Change the verb form
relates
show examples
to traditional
culture
.
On the other hand
, there are several reasons against the statement that conserving traditional heritage is off the topic in
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
conversation
Fix the agreement mistake
conversations
show examples
recently. One main argument would be that traditional
culture
is the foundation of a country and a way to identify, providing a sense of familiarity and continuity.
People
from foreign countries can easily recognize a nation just by looking at their traditional clothes or buildings which are related to the traditional
culture
. Another argument would be that preserving cultural heritage can attract tourists and boost the economy.
For instance
, Japan is a country that has a high rate of foreign tourists coming to explore not only traditional
culture
but for other experiences. All in all, the facts mentioned above have created a dilemma when
people
evaluate the effects of the issue, and it has still sparked controversy in recent years. As far as I am concerned, I put more emphasis on the idea that it is still important to
people
that we preserve a traditional way of
life
,
people
should
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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further
consideration on
this
issue.
Submitted by mgnm140307 on

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coherence cohesion
While your essay is generally well-organized, aim to provide a slightly more balanced discussion by ensuring that each side of the argument is represented equally. This will give more depth to your analysis and enhance the clarity of your main points.
coherence cohesion
Try to use a more diverse range of linking words and phrases to make the transitions between paragraphs smoother. This will improve the flow of your essay and make it easier for the reader to follow your line of reasoning.
task achievement
Ensure that all examples and arguments are directly relevant to the points you're making. Occasionally, some of your examples could have been more clearly connected to the main idea of the paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and well-structured, which helps frame the essay effectively.
task achievement
The essay covers both viewpoints and provides a personal opinion, which is essential for task achievement.
task achievement
Good use of relevant specific examples, enhancing the arguments presented.

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