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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below give information on average life expectancy in four countries, from 1993 to 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information on average life expectancy in four countries, from 1993 to 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The charts below give information on average
life
Use synonyms
expectancy
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 in four countries, from 1993 to 2008.
This
Linking Words
 bar chart and table provide data in terms of
life
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expectancy
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 consisting of 4 countries,
such
Linking Words
 as
Japan
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,
Korea
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, America, and
Indonesia
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, period 1993 to 2008. By and large,
Japan
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 and
Korea
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 are more dominant regarding
life
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expectancy
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, meanwhile
Korea
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 and
Indonesia
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 are better in terms of
Increase
Correct article usage
an Increase
show examples
 in
life
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expectancy
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. Transitioning
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Life
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expectancy
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,
Japan
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 got the rank 1 with the highest average
umber
Correct your spelling
number
show examples
, which is 82.7,
follow
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
Use synonyms
korea
Change the capitalization
Korea
show examples
 which
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
 79.2 years old the average, and the second lowest
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 and
Indonesia
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 with 77.2 dan 70.9. In terms of the yearly increase in
life
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expectancy
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,
Indonesia
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 has the highest position here with the
number
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 5.1, followed by
Korea
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 with
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number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 9.3.
While
Linking Words
Use synonyms
japan
Capitalize word
Japan
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 has the highest rank in
life
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expectancy
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,
however
Linking Words
 in the
number
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 increase,
japan
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 has the second
low
Replace the word
lowest
show examples
, with
Use synonyms
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 5.1.
moreover
Linking Words
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
,
still
Add a missing verb
is still
show examples
 stagnant in the category of lowest
number
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, with 3.2.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words life, expectancy, japan, korea, indonesia, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • trends
  • increase/decrease
  • significant
  • improvements
  • economic factors
  • lifestyle changes
  • healthcare
  • average
  • convergence
  • divergence
  • overall trend
  • future patterns
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