The prevention of health problems and illness is morr important than treatment. Governmet funding should reflect this. To what extend do you agree?
The reduction in
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
issues
and illness is more crucial than finding treatment
and prescription. I completely agree to
Change preposition
with
given
point because if the cause of Add an article
the given
a given
problem
is treated before Add an article
the problem
time
the prescription and Add an article
the time
treatment
will not be needed.
To embark on
, authorities must consider and evaluate the Change preposition
apply
issues
because of which the diseases are spreading and take strict actions to minimize the problems. The primary cause of health
problems comes from the air
we breathe in. Government
should start allocating some portion of Correct article usage
The government
fundd
to improve Correct your spelling
funds
funded
air
quality which will help in reduction
of Add an article
the reduction
health
problems. To examplify
, Correct your spelling
exemplify
according to
the newspaper 'Times India' stated that about 60% of health
issues
arise because of air
pollution.
Moreover
, due to
the lack of hospitals and medical centers
near rural areas, people have to go far away from villages to cuties to take medication and it takes Change the spelling
centres
alot
of time. Correct your spelling
a lot
Therefore
, in these parts of country
government must do Correct article usage
the country
health
awareness programs which will help residents to
stay fit. Verb problem
apply
For instance
, a survey conducted by an
Change the article
a
health
organization in india
reported that many individuals living in rural areas are suffering and Change the capitalization
India
hav
no nearby place to go for Correct your spelling
have
treatment
.
To recapitulate, the government should prioritize to improve
Change the verb form
improving
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
health
and fitness than
medication and Change preposition
over
treatment
. I agree to
Change preposition
with
this
statement beacause
Correct your spelling
because
i
think Change the capitalization
I
its
more important to reduce the effects which cause certain Replace the word
it's
it is
health
issues
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
as
authorities should try to improve Change preposition
apply
air
quality and run health
programs in rural areas.Submitted by Xyz person
on
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coherence cohesion
To improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and transitions smoothly between points. This can be achieved by using linking words or phrases like 'Firstly', 'Moreover', 'In addition', and 'Finally'.
task achievement
For task achievement, it's important to fully develop your ideas and provide specific, relevant examples. While your examples are relevant, you can make them more detailed to enhance the effectiveness of your argument.
grammar spelling
Pay attention to minor errors in spelling and grammar. Make sure to proofread your essay before finalizing it. Tools like grammar checkers can also help in catching these mistakes.
task achievement
To make your points clearer, you can elaborate more on how prevention measures directly contribute to reducing the need for treatment. For instance, explain mechanisms or policies that have been successful in other regions or countries.
task achievement
Your essay clearly addresses the importance of prevention over treatment and provides relevant reasons and examples to support this view.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
supported main points
You have made an effort to support your main points with examples, such as the newspaper and survey references, which strengthens your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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