People who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyle and poor diets should have to pay more for health care. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
it is commonly held belief that unhealthy habits and laziness are the main factors of
health
issues
there is
also
an argument that
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
lifestyle
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
the main
cause
of
health
issues
.
To begin
with bad diet can
cause
several
health
Correct your spelling
issues
issuses
Correct your spelling
issues
in other words
consuming
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
of sugar can
cause
diabetes which can
cause
lots of
health
problems in the future
such
as kidney damage so in
this
way people who
ate
Wrong verb form
eat
show examples
bad
Change the word
badly
show examples
when they
where
Correct your spelling
were
show examples
young will pay the value in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
old age
in addition
to
this
people who were lazy will experience physical
issues
for example
bone
issues
on the other
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task achievement
Your essay raises some valid points regarding unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets, but it's important to fully develop these ideas. Ensure you address the main argument more clearly and completely.
coherence cohesion
Try to structure your essay more logically. Use paragraphs to separate different points and ensure that each point leads naturally to the next.
coherence cohesion
Always begin with a clear introduction that outlines your main arguments, and finish with a conclusion that summarizes your points.
task achievement
Your essay topics are relevant and directly related to the prompt. You provide examples, like the link between sugar consumption and diabetes, which reinforce your arguments.
task achievement
The examples you use, such as diabetes due to sugar consumption, are specific and relevant, which adds weight to your argument.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported.After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
As the pace of today's materialistic society moves on, a multitude of people fail to achieve work-life balance. Several consequences may be listed about this phenomenon and devising a solution necessitates a concerted endeavour of everybody.
While it is widely claimed that numerous manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar which leading to several health problems, others argue that those sugary products should be made more expensive aiming to encourage people to take less sugar. The reason why I disagree with the statement will be elaborated on in this essay.
While some hold the idea that becoming older is backward in these days and ages, others believe there are upsides to getting ageing. This essay will discuss both two notions and figure out factors differing them.
Bussinesses have always sought to make a profit but it becomes increasingly common to hear that bussinesses have social obligations. I completely agree with with businesses should contribute more towards social responsibility than making money. In the coming paragraphs, I will enlighten you about it.
Spending money on a few expensive Shirts, trousers or skirts is better than spending money on cheaper clothes. This essay agrees with this point of view because expensive clothes might have better quality that does not affect the skin and lasts longer.