IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people think modern communication technology is having some negative effects on social relationships. Do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

#people #communication #technology #effects #relationships
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There are multiple universities which offer programs related to ‘Public Health’ not only in Colombia but
also
 in Australia.
Nevertheless
, the curriculum offered by Torrens University has a perfect balance between its core subjects and its specialisations with some topics which definitely are not available in other institutions. First of all, there are 5 core subjects which thoroughly fit a relationship among social, cultural and behavioural factors, environmental issues, economic management, and epidemiology. What is more,
this
 ‘Graduate Diploma’ has five specialisation subjects which allow us to focus on improving specific skills. From my perspective, the most interesting electives are ‘Digital Health and Informatics’, ‘Biostatistics’, and ‘Health Policy and Advocacy’.
Finally
, it should be emphasised that everybody has to know how to apply cutting-edge technological techniques.
Therefore
, what is most appealing to me about the program at Torrens University is the implementation of basic knowledge and emerging digital tools.
Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that your introduction clearly states the main point of your essay and why it is relevant. This will make your argument more engaging from the beginning.
introduction conclusion present
Include a conclusion that succinctly summarises your main points and restates your stance or insight. This can help in reinforcing your argument to the reader.
supported main points
Consider elaborating a bit more on how the core subjects contribute to the field of Public Health. Providing more specific examples can make your argument stronger.
logical structure
Your body paragraphs are well-structured and logically organized. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the program, contributing to the overall flow of ideas.
logical structure
The essay maintains a good balance between discussing core subjects and specialisation subjects, demonstrating a thorough understanding of the program.
relevant specific examples
Relevant specific examples are clearly included, which helps in demonstrating the unique aspects of Torrens University's program in comparison to others.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • face-to-face interactions
  • messaging apps
  • social media
  • non-verbal cues
  • family bonds
  • dependency
  • digital communication
  • superficial relationships
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • social isolation
  • virtual connections
  • emotional satisfaction
  • real-life interactions
  • technological intrusion
What to do next:
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