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Band 5.5

Some people believe that wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #animals #place #st #century #waste #resources
It is said that spending money on
the
Correct article usage
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wild
animals
 is futile
,
Remove the comma
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 because there isn’t enough space for them to survive. Personally, I disagree with
this
 statement, and I will outline the reasons in
this
 essay. In my opinion, everything exists for a reason, we have no right to decide the survival of a species. Wild
animals
’ existence brings many profits. To be specific, the existence of wild
animals
 promotes biodiversity and prevents the extinction of
some
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certain species. If wild
animals
 die out, they will never come back, which is a huge loss to the sustainable development of the earth and constrains the opportunity to study wild
animals
. So obviously, wild
animals
 should exist, not only for the environment
,
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 but
also
 for the human. I
also
 disagree with the idea that protecting
animals
 is a waste of resources. From an environmental perspective, wild
animals
 play a crucial role in the ecological balance.
That is
 to say, their existence can control the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of pests effectively.
Therefore
, the utilization of
pesticide
Fix the agreement mistake
pesticides
show examples
 is reduced and the forests and farmers are protected.
Moreover
, if people don’t conserve biodiversity, it may have no influence in the short term, but in the long run, it will have a much more serious impact on the earth than we expect, which means that people might spend more money on tackling those problems than protecting these wild
animals
 at present. We should not regard spending money to protect
animals
 as a waste. In conclusion, I think that protecting
animals
 is wasting resources is a ludicrous idea. I believe we should do everything we can to protect them.
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relevant specific examples
While the essay offers clear arguments, using more specific examples could strengthen your points. For instance, mentioning particular species or successful conservation programs would provide a more compelling argument.
logical structure
Work on ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea of that paragraph. This will improve the overall logical flow of your essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Although your arguments are clear, consider elaborating further on some points to add depth. This will improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. The reader can easily follow your argument throughout the essay.
complete response
You have successfully addressed the task by presenting a clear standpoint and supporting it with logical reasons.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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