Obesity is a major healthy problem. What are the causes of this problem? What can be done to solve this problem?
Most people have a diet habit is unhealthy.
However
, it has a relative with overweight and leads to Obesity issue
. In Fix the agreement mistake
issues
this
essay, I need to discuss to causes and find the way to solve this
problem.
The first one, in many countries, there's a cultural tradition of celebrating with unhealthy food
. For example
, children often enjoy eating fast food
and soft drink
, like fried chicken and Fix the agreement mistake
drinks
coca cola
. When special day celebrating in school. like New Correct your spelling
Coca-Cola
year
party day Capitalize word
Year
also
receiving awards. However
, fast food
and soft drink
are high in fat and sugar. Which, Fix the agreement mistake
drinks
contribute
to obesity. To solve Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
this
problem, Parents should consider alternative foods or healthy food
for
options to celebrate. Correct word choice
as
such
as,
fruit or oil-free snacks. These snacks are rich in vitamins and Remove the comma
apply
fiber
. Change the spelling
fibre
This
solution is healthier and have
more Change the verb form
has
a beneficial
.
Replace the word
benefits
Moreover
, some people overeat due to
mental health issues. For instance
, many workers cope with stress by indulging in desserts and milk tea almost daily. Because they believe the sugar can boot
their energy and the feeling. Correct your spelling
boost
Although
, it contains high level
of sugar. To address Fix the agreement mistake
levels
this
issue, they can switch the activity to work out. such
as walking to talk with colleagues instead
talk by
Change preposition
via
online
platform. Because Add an article
the online
an online
the
sweat Correct article usage
apply
has
Verb problem
is
a
Correct article usage
apply
beneficially
Change the word
beneficial
to
reducing Change preposition
in
the
stress. Correct article usage
apply
This
can help them take a break from work and boost their mood.
To sum up
, On several causes of Obesity. Diet habit is an important issue. We should consider alternative foods to balance our meals. Additionally
, exercise is the best option for better health.Submitted by jeebjib14 on
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task achievement
Try to clarify the thesis statement in the introduction. Ensure that it clearly outlines what the essay will discuss.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. They can detract from the overall clarity and flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, and avoid redundant phrases. Make each sentence meaningful and relevant.
task achievement
You have supported your main points with relevant examples, which help to illustrate your arguments effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, and the flow of ideas is generally understandable.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear beginning and ending to your essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?