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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates the percentage of weekly income spending by families in a country in 1968 and 2018.
It is clear that
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 food and leisure occupied the highest spending options in 1968 and 2018, respectively. The expenditure on housing, transport and leisure increased; fuel and power, clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear

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, and personal items decreased.
However
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, weekly spending on household products remained stable.(food) People spent almost one-fifth of their income on housing in 2018, nearly twice as much as in 1968.
Similarly
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, more than 22% of their earnings were used for their leisure, which was significantly more than before (less than 10%).
Additionally
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, for transportation, people used about 14% compared to 1968, when the corresponding figure was merely 8%. For both years, spending on household goods stayed consistent at 8%.
However
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the amount spent on food dropped significantly from 35% to 17% in 2018.
In addition
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the proportion of spending of the weekly income on fuel and power was slightly higher (nearly 6%) than in 2018 (less than 5%).
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in 1968, weekly
expenditure
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditures

It seems that expenditure may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
 on clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear

If you don’t want footware to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, and personal goods were 10% and approximately 8%, respectively, which were lower than in 2018(5% and less than 4%, respectively).

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • compare
  • spending patterns
  • allocated
  • weekly income
  • significant changes
  • essential items
  • food
  • housing
  • clothing
  • leisure
  • communication
  • increase
  • decrease
  • twofold rise
  • substantial increase
  • quadrupling
  • declined
  • food and drink
  • slight increase
  • prioritizing
  • necessities
  • transitioned
  • portio
  • non-essential items
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