IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You recently stayed at a hotel for a conference with your company and there were several problems with your room. Write to the hotel management to complain. Include ● Where you stayed ● What the problems were ● How they can fix your complaints

#hotel #conference #company #room #management #complaints
Dear Sir and Madam I am writing to you to report the difficulties I have faced by living in
7th
Correct article usage
the 7th
show examples
room
. Near
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the feature in in
this
room
, I will have a conference
that is
 the purpose of my writing.
Initial
Add an article
The initial
An initial
show examples
 problem
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 when I
come
Wrong verb form
came
show examples
 into the
room
 and
switch
Wrong verb form
switched
show examples
 on the TV the screen was blurry. I got nervous because of it.
Moreover
,
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
I found the second dilemma
last
 night,
complication
Add an article
the complication
show examples
 was in the water which was coming from the shower the color of
water
Add an article
the water
show examples
 was a little bit dirty and cold.
Nevertheless
, after all that issue I found out that the
room
 was not even mine, it happened
due to
 customer service which
give
Wrong verb form
gave
show examples
another
Correct pronoun usage
me another
show examples
room
 key. It's been two days now and it is unacceptable and abhorrent that why I am demanding from you for quick refund and extra money for
this
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
 things I have experienced or I will take
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
legal action. I look forward to hearing from you within two weeks. Yours faithfully John Smith
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task achievement
To achieve a higher score, ensure that your letter directly addresses all points of the prompt in a clear and logical manner. Providing specific and thorough details about each issue mentioned will strengthen your task response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs have a clear main idea and are logically sequenced. This will help improve the overall structure of your letter, making it easier for the reader to follow your complaints.
task achievement
Maintain a formal and polite tone throughout your letter, especially when addressing the issues and requesting remedies. This will make your letter more professional and effective.
coherence cohesion
Focus on using clear and correct grammar and vocabulary. Avoid unnecessary repetition and pay attention to sentence structure to improve the readability of your letter.
greeting and closing
The letter has a proper greeting and closing, showing an understanding of formal letter-writing conventions.
single idea per paragraph
Each paragraph generally addresses a separate issue, which helps in organizing the content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with...
  • ...which I encountered during my recent stay at...
  • The first issue was...
  • Additionally, I found that...
  • Moreover, the... was not up to standard.
  • I suggest that...
  • This experience has left me...
  • I hope you will address these concerns promptly by...
  • To improve your service, you could...
  • As a form of compensation, I would appreciate...
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