IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

our local cuncil considering closing a sports and leisure center that it runs, in order to save money ● give details of how you and your friends or family use the center ● explain why the sport and leisure center is important for the local community ● describe the possibli effects on local people if the center closes

#cuncil #sports #leisure #center #money #friends #sport #community #possibli #effects #people
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Dear
sir
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Sir
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 or
madam
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Madam
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, I am writing to express my concern about the
potiontional
Correct your spelling
potential
 closure of the Muborak sports and
leisure
center
Change the spelling
centre
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. I live in Muborak and I use the
center
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centre
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 regularly with my
friends
 and my family. My
friends
 and I really like to use
this
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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 and
leisure
center
Change the spelling
centre
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. I go swimming there every week with my
friends
. Because it is the best way to have fun with my
friends
Also
 My dad loves to use the gym to keep fit. The sports and
leisure
center
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centre
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 is more than just a place to exercise. It is a part of our community. It works for people
all
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of all
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 ages to stay healthy,
spcialize
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specialize
socialize
, and have fun. Closing the
center
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centre
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 would have a negative
impacts
Correct the article-noun agreement
impact
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of
Change preposition
on
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 our
comunity
Correct your spelling
community
. I am worried that closing the
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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 and
leisure
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 would have negative impacts
for
Change preposition
on
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 the community people would have few
exersice
Correct your spelling
exercise
, which is useful for health.
In addition
 to
this
Add a comma
this,
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 It would be
shame
Add an article
a shame
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 to lose
such
 a great community space. I look forward to your reply. Yours faithfully Raxmon Kamolov
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay has a clear and well-organized structure with distinct paragraphs for better readability.
task achievement
Check for spelling and grammatical errors to make the essay more polished and professional.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples where possible to support your points more convincingly.
coherence cohesion
Work on maintaining a formal and consistent tone throughout the letter.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear response to the task, addressing all bullet points.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present, summarizing the main concerns and response to the potential closure.
task achievement
Personal experiences and community aspects are well incorporated, making the argument more relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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