. In some cities, people prefer riding bicycles rather than drive cars. In some cities, people choose to drive cars rather than ride bicycles. What are the reasons for their preferences? Which one do you think is better development?

Nowadays, in the
21-st
Correct your spelling
21st
century
Add a comma
century,
show examples
individuals
are divided in their preferences of vehicle for transportation in the city
due to
a multitude of versatile and multifaceted circumstances. Looking from an
overall
perspective, their selected options might lead to different ramifications, which we will observe in
this
essay.
According to
me, bicycles are
better
Add an article
a better
the better
show examples
choice in order to improve
condition
Add an article
the condition
show examples
of our environment. First and foremost, it is worth noticing that our planet struggling
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
numerous problems
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
created by human beings,
due to
burning
Correct article usage
the burning
show examples
fossil
Change preposition
of fossil
show examples
fuels in our atmosphere the number of carbon dioxide reinforces significantly and in the
future
Add a comma
future,
show examples
it
leads
Wrong verb form
will lead
show examples
to global warming. In order to avoid
this
,
individuals
should be self-conscious
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
implement actions and
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
aware of everything. One of the best choices to change our natural environment is replacing contemporary
cars
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
bicycles. They have a lot of features which attract citizens to
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
them.
Furthermore
, they are eco-friendly,
boost
Correct word choice
and boost
show examples
mood
Correct article usage
the mood
show examples
and emotional condition of humans by improving
physical
Add an article
the physical
show examples
and mental
overall
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
well-being of
individuals
. By using two-wheelers inhabitants of urban and cosmopolitan cities may easily avoid traffic jams and ride to their
destination
Fix the agreement mistake
destinations
show examples
with fascinating natural landscapes. To cite an example, when human beings ride
two wheelers
Add a hyphen
two-wheelers
show examples
they reduce
risk
Correct article usage
the risk
show examples
of appearing of chronic and cardiovascular diseases which will influence to longevity of citizens.
On the other hand
, a huge amount of inhabitants
prefers
Correct subject-verb agreement
prefer
show examples
to
utilize
Verb problem
use
show examples
cars
. They are known to be fast,
convenient
Correct word choice
and convenient
show examples
in our daily experiences, when we live like a squirrel in a cage and burn
candle
Fix the agreement mistake
candles
show examples
at
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both ends. With motor vehicles
caring
Verb problem
carrying
show examples
heavy items much easier, in comparison with other transportation appliances.
Besides
, many
individuals
suffer from different health issues or disabilities,
due
Correct word choice
and due
show examples
to
this
cars
provide them with enhanced mobility and influence
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them significantly. Apart from
mentioned
Correct article usage
the mentioned
show examples
beneficial sides,
cars
make remote or rural areas more accessible. As evidence, if
individuals
live in
suburbs
Correct article usage
the suburbs
show examples
and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
work in the city, they can easily reach their destination without any challenges. Weighting up both sides of the argument, it is worth noticing that riding a bicycle is
magnificent
Correct article usage
a magnificent
show examples
ramification for our future development.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
While your essay addresses the task, ensure that all points are fully expanded with specific examples and clear ideas. For instance, provide more examples of how cycling benefits the environment or specific challenges certain people face that necessitate car usage.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow by ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly and clearly. Linking sentences can help to better connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
overall
Proofread your essay to avoid minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, "which we will observe in this essay" could be more succinctly written as "which this essay will discuss." Additionally, improve vocabulary usage and sentence structure to enhance readability.
task response
Your concern for environmental issues shines through, which is an important and relevant topic.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction sets up the essay well, indicating what will be discussed, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your argument.
task response
Your essay provides a balanced view of both sides of the argument, which is a strength.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: