IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries young people are encouraged to work and travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

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Nowadays, several countries provide
to
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apply
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their
students
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with program
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program
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programs
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on
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in
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 which they can
work
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 and
travel
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 simultaneously for a year in the time interval between ending high school and starting college.
Accordingly
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, there are some benefits
of
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to
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this
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 assertion, but
also
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 it presents a number of drawbacks.
To begin
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 with, young people could gain a lot of advantages by taking
gap
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a gap
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 year in order to
work
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 and
travel
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.
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FIrstly
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Firstly
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, working or
traveling
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travelling
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 can expose young individuals to new cultures, lifestyles, and ideas, which can increase their maturity and self-awareness. Consider Kazakhstan as an example: many academies in Kazakhstan
presents
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present
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 plenty of
oportunities
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opportunities
 for their
students
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such
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 as travelling abroad and studying there which is called
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work
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a work
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 and
travel
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 program, by participating in
this
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 program
students
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 can easily explore other countries and their cultures, lifestyles and so on.
Secondly
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, it is logical that gaining
work
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 experience can provide practical skills and insights into different industries, enhancing future career prospects,
thus
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 people would be able to illustrate their experience at working on
this
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 project.
Finally
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, if
students
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 take
the
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apply
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advantage of working and travelling abroad, they will improve their academic focus. Because
,
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apply
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 a break may allow them to approach their university studies with renewed focus and
determation
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determination
.
However
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, one of the biggest problems with
this
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 proposal may be money.
Due to
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 the fact that these types of programmes can be paid for, some individuals would experience a number of problems with
it
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them
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. Because
,
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apply
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traveling
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travelling
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 or unpaid
internships
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 can be expensive and may contribute to financial strain or increased student debt.
Nevertheless
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,
in addition
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 to unpaid
internships
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, there are several programmes that can provide paid
travel
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 and accommodation
while
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 working or travelling.
For example
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, popular
internships
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such
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 as FLEX,
Work
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 and
Travel
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 etc. do not require money as pupils just have to go through some other
requirement
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requirements
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. In conclusion, young
students
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 have to take the opportunity and participate
on
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in
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such
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 programmes
due to
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 the fact that they can give them a lot of benefits.
Although
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 some of them may demand some money, people are able to find other types of
internships
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 without financial
requirement
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requirements
show examples
.

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task achievement
While the essay does a good job of addressing the topic and presenting both advantages and disadvantages, clearer and more comprehensive ideas would strengthen the task response.
coherence cohesion
To achieve even better cohesion, use clear linking words and phrases consistently throughout the essay. Some points seemed a little disconnected.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant and specific examples which enhance the argument.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported, and there is a logical structure to the essay.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
What to do next:
Look at other essays: