Some people think the range of technology currently available is increasing the gap between rich people and poor people. Others think it is causing the opposite side effect. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The issue of social inequality has been with humanity for a long time. Nowadays, some individuals think that, a large number of technology increases
stratification
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the stratification
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of society, others argue that it is
opposite
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the opposite
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action.
Personaly
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Personally
, I believe that both of these statements are true. On the one side, modern
technologies
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provide many more opportunities for the rich than for the poor, thereby
further
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increasing the differences between these layers of society.
For example
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,
according to
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the statistics of Russian federal state statistics service,
approximatly
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approximately
11
present
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per cent
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of citizens of the country do not have access to the Internet for different
reasones
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reasons
, but most often
due to
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a lack of funds.
Accordingly
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, these people do not have access to a huge array of data and cannot use many services that are only available on the Internet.
On the other hand
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, technology is employing many
pearsons
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persons
without discriminating between rich and poor.
For instance
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, modern smartphone models, both cheap and expensive, have the same functionality
that is
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not qualitatively different, all smartphones have Internet access,
the
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and the
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ability to call, send messages and take photos.
This
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gives the same opportunities to people with different incomes. In my opinion,
technologies
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are only an accompanying factor of more complex social processes and they themselves cannot change the social gap in any way, either directly or indirectly. Another example, for almost 70 years, the number of poor and rich has remained virtually unchanged, despite the emergence of many new
technologies
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. In conclusion, on the one hand,
technologies
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divide society by providing different levels of opportunities,
on the other hand
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, they unite people because much is already available to everyone.
Submitted by glebtar2014 on

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grammar
Some sentences contain small grammatical errors and typos. Pay attention to plural forms, article usage, and spelling.
content
Avoid repetition of ideas and try to present more nuanced arguments to make your essay more compelling.
content
Consider adding more specific examples or data to strengthen your points. This helps in making the arguments more concrete and persuasive.
structure
The essay addresses both views of the topic clearly and gives a personal opinion in the conclusion.
coherence
The writer has used appropriate transitional phrases to link different parts of the essay.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a clear opinion.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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