IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The given table illustrates the data about the independent films released in the UK and the republic of Ireland based on the category of movies in the year 2012.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The graph given illustrates the data on moves released in the UK and the republic . The graph relates to 2012.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the
number
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 of
cases
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 in 2012 of comedy was more than the
number
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 of
cases
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 in 2012 of romance.
According to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the graph, it is noticeable that there is a development. It can be clearly seen that films were released in the UK and the
republic
Capitalize word
Republic

The word republic should be capitalized in this context.

show examples
. the initial one to consider is that In 2012, the figures of
cases
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 rose significantly approximately to 45.4 for comedy. But there was a quick drop to 0.8 for romance.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the
number
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 of
cases
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 increased slightly to 20.2
of
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
 horror in 2012.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there was a slow fall to 13 of thriller in 2012. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply

The preposition to after Regarding may be unnecessary. Consider removing the second preposition.

show examples
the given data, it is remarkable that there is a leap. The figures for
cases
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 in 2012 of romance were less than the
number
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 of
cases
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 of comedy. In reference to the represented figures, it is significant that there is an achievement.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words number, cases with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • illustrates
  • independent films
  • categories
  • released
  • notable differences
  • trends
  • overall patterns
  • specific numbers
  • analyze
  • popular
  • themes
  • less likely
  • explored
  • independent cinema
  • significant disparities
  • data analysis
  • terminology
  • genres
  • descriptive terms
What to do next:
Look at other essays: