Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #advertisements #products #lives

It is argued by some

people

that advertising could lead to unnecessary consumption

while

others believe it helps popularize new goods that could enhance

people

’s living

standard

Fix the agreement mistake

standards

show examples

. To a certain extent, I believe that promotion contributes to

people

using their money for unnecessary purposes.

This

essay will discuss both views and give a nuanced approach. On one hand, advertising is one of the most important and effective ways to manipulate

people

into thinking that consuming more

products

is a need. Compared to the past, electronic cigarettes

used to be

Wrong verb form

were

show examples

a big success in the 2000s because

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

prevented many

cigars

Fix the agreement mistake

cigar

show examples

addicts from having tuberculosis and lung cancer.

However

, nowadays when the market is saturated, there are

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

chances to invent a new revolutionary product that changes

people

’s lives. Even if there are life-changing

products

, it will likely be harder to access customers

due to

the acquisition of big companies, since they only care about their own benefits.

On the other hand

, I believe that the major purpose of promotion is persuading customers to buy

products

regardless of their intended use. Companies often exaggerate small features to promote.

For example

, there are no differences in features between

Iphone

Correct your spelling

iPhone

11 and 12

besides

their size and their price.

However

, Apple can still sell a lot of

products

due to

their marketing tricks, since they only focus on profits

not

Add the comma(s)

, not

show examples

on their customers' experiences.

Moreover

, businesses hire the most glamorous and beautiful influencers to sponsor their

products

. consequences, more and more

people

will purchase the product, not only because of the brand’s images but

also

because of the model’s images. In conclusion, I agree that advertising is successful at encouraging us to use our money on unnecessary

products

because of their talented way

to manipulate

Change preposition

of manipulating

show examples

people

Submitted by document.hanie on Mon Aug 12 2024

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task achievement

To improve task response, ensure that you address all parts of the task more directly and with specific detail. Make sure your argument is balanced, giving equal weight to both sides if you are discussing two viewpoints.

coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence and cohesion, try to use more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas smoothly. Make sure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next.

task achievement

Expand on the examples provided and make them more specific and varied. This will help to support your main points more convincingly.

introduction conclusion present

The essay has a clear introduction and a conclusion, which bring the essay together well.

supported main points

You've used some good examples to illustrate your points, which helps to make your argument more convincing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

293 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
persuade
manipulative
unnecessary
excessive
artificial needs
desires
consumers
oversaturation
impulse buying
financial problems
inform
educate
features
benefits
innovations
raise awareness
social issues
positive behavior
enrich
well-being

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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but other people claim that it is the individual’s responsibility. Discuss both the views and give your opinion?

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

More and more children are accessing the Internet unsupervised. This can sometimes put them at risk. What problems do you think parents face when dealing with their children using the Internet? How can this problem be solved?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disanvantages of giving children this message?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.