Some people say modern children's games do not develop a wide range of skills, while traditional games can be much better for developing such skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There are moments when it is said that typical conventional sports
such
as cricket, football and other similar
games
are more beneficial than modern electronic
games
in terms of developing expertise among youth. I strongly agree with the statement and explain the reasons in
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
paragraphs. First of all,
present time
Add a hyphen
present-time
show examples
games
focus heavily on digital interaction, often limiting physical and social skill development as compared to traditional sports.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
modern
games
often isolate players from real-life contexts, potentially impairing the development of interpersonal skills.
However
, the conventional
games
require the participation of lots of players
Submitted by hazel@ on

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task achievement
Consider expanding on how traditional games develop a wider range of skills, offering specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and logical progression to the next, maintaining a consistent structure through the essay.
task achievement
The essay clearly addresses the topic and takes a definitive stance, which is a good start.
coherence cohesion
You have outlined your stance and started providing reasons for it, ensuring that the reader understands your perspective.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • motor skills
  • social interactions
  • strategic thinking
  • interpersonal skills
  • repetitive actions
  • digital interaction
  • real-world scenarios
  • educational content
  • traditional vs. modern
  • physical activity
  • screen time
  • creativity
  • intellectual challenge
  • health implications
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