Some people believe that elderly employees are more useful to a company, while others believe that young employees are better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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It's true that
this
issue is polarizing. Some people believe that elderly
employees
are more useful,
while
others believe that young
employees
are better. For the former, they might think that elderly
employees
have
necessary
Add an article
the necessary
show examples
experience needed to help guide
company's
Correct article usage
the company's
show examples
decision. Elderly
employees
might have faced repeated problems that might arrive again, so they are likely the
ones
who have the most formidable solution going through several iterated attempts. Elderly
employees
also
are more likely to have well-formed personality
trait
Fix the agreement mistake
traits
show examples
that might be more needed depending on what kind of problems the
company
will face. For a
company
where
certain
Correct article usage
a certain
show examples
work
culture
is regarded as valuable, having elderly
employees
is
also
important because they are more likely to have adapted the
company
's
culture
habitually for a long time and can help conserve the
culture
of the
company
by giving necessary guidance to the younger
ones
.
On the other hand
, young
employees
also
have some merit and valuable traits that the elder
ones
might not have possessed.
For example
, younger
employees
are more creative and adaptable
,
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apply
show examples
and tend to be more tech-savvy. Younger
employees
also
tend to be more energetic so they can handle more
work
effectively. In the end, I think the answer should depend on the
company
's objectives and
work
culture
, and it's more about having a well-balanced ratio between the two kinds. If it's a new
company
, more tech-oriented and
require
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requires
show examples
work
in
fast-paced
Add an article
a fast-paced
show examples
and highly turbulent environment, having a ratio that leans slightly towards younger
ones
might be more fitting.
Whereas
if it's a well-established
company
and
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
enjoyed a stable style of working and
culture
,
then
more older
employees
might be preferable.
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task achievement
Your essay does a great job of addressing both views on the topic and providing a balanced opinion. To improve further, consider elaborating more on specific examples to substantiate your points.
coherence cohesion
You clearly outlined your points and structured your essay well. To make it even better, ensure that the introduction sets the stage for the discussion more clearly, and include a more concise conclusion that summarizes your viewpoint effectively.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which shows deep understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured, and each paragraph flows well into the next.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Experience and knowledge
  • Company culture
  • Professional network
  • Mentoring
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Fresh perspectives
  • Adaptable
  • Innovative solutions
  • Technological advancements
  • Competitive edge
  • Energy levels
  • Drive to succeed
  • Balanced workforce
  • Synergy
  • Dynamic team
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