Some people believe that elderly employees are more useful to a company, while others believe that young employees are better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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It's true that
this
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issue is polarizing. Some people believe that elderly
employees
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are more useful,
while
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others believe that young
employees
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are better. For the former, they might think that elderly
employees
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have
necessary
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the necessary
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experience needed to help guide
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company's
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the company's
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decision. Elderly
employees
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might have faced repeated problems that might arrive again, so they are likely the
ones
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who have the most formidable solution going through several iterated attempts. Elderly
employees
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also
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are more likely to have well-formed personality
trait
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traits
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that might be more needed depending on what kind of problems the
company
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will face. For a
company
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where
certain
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a certain
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work
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culture
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is regarded as valuable, having elderly
employees
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is
also
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important because they are more likely to have adapted the
company
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's
culture
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habitually for a long time and can help conserve the
culture
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of the
company
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by giving necessary guidance to the younger
ones
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.
On the other hand
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, young
employees
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also
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have some merit and valuable traits that the elder
ones
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might not have possessed.
For example
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, younger
employees
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are more creative and adaptable
,
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apply
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and tend to be more tech-savvy. Younger
employees
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also
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tend to be more energetic so they can handle more
work
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effectively. In the end, I think the answer should depend on the
company
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's objectives and
work
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culture
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, and it's more about having a well-balanced ratio between the two kinds. If it's a new
company
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, more tech-oriented and
require
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requires
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work
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in
fast-paced
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a fast-paced
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and highly turbulent environment, having a ratio that leans slightly towards younger
ones
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might be more fitting.
Whereas
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if it's a well-established
company
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and
have
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has
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enjoyed a stable style of working and
culture
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,
then
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more older
employees
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might be preferable.
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task achievement
Your essay does a great job of addressing both views on the topic and providing a balanced opinion. To improve further, consider elaborating more on specific examples to substantiate your points.
coherence cohesion
You clearly outlined your points and structured your essay well. To make it even better, ensure that the introduction sets the stage for the discussion more clearly, and include a more concise conclusion that summarizes your viewpoint effectively.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which shows deep understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured, and each paragraph flows well into the next.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Experience and knowledge
  • Company culture
  • Professional network
  • Mentoring
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Fresh perspectives
  • Adaptable
  • Innovative solutions
  • Technological advancements
  • Competitive edge
  • Energy levels
  • Drive to succeed
  • Balanced workforce
  • Synergy
  • Dynamic team
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