In many countries, the amount o f crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes o f crime? How can we deal with those causes?

Nowadays,

crime

is in increasing trend all over the world. Every day, we hear news of new ways cruelties are committed. One reason for more lawlessness is because of the increasing unemployment rate and authorities can solve it by creating more job opportunities. On the one hand, the ever-increasing world population contributes to unemployment around the world.

Besides

, when more citizens are without jobs, they do not have a good living standard and live in poverty

thus

causing men and women alike to turn to

crime

such

as robbery, selling drugs and murder to meet their daily needs.

For example

, India has one of the highest populations and despite having so many work

workforce

Fix the agreement mistake

workforces

show examples

crime

rates

are still not be

Change the verb form

are still not

show examples

able to controlled and yet many crimes are not reported.

On the other hand

, having a higher population can be seen as a positive solution as there will be more workforce for the industrial sector. Authorities could invest in and train young people especially to provide the education and skills needed for the job market.

For instance

, Malaysia provides many government-funded skill classes for young people to acquire skills so that they can start up their businesses. In conclusion,

although

, unemployment could cause more

crime

in many countries, the government could bring it under control by providing skill workshops.

Submitted by abphobos70 on Mon Aug 12 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph addresses only one main idea to improve clarity and coherence. For example, Paragraph 1 discusses both causes and solutions which could be clearer if separated into two paragraphs.

task achievement

Expand on the ideas to make your essay more comprehensive. For example, you could provide more specific examples or statistics to support your points effectively.

coherence cohesion

Proofread the essay to avoid small grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing. For example, 'crime is in increasing trend' should be 'crime is on the rise' and 'despite having so many work workforce' should be 'despite having a large workforce'.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in organizing the points logically.

task achievement

You appropriately identified unemployment and overpopulation as major causes of crime, which is relevant to the task prompt.

task achievement

The recommendation of skill workshops and government intervention provides a practical solution to the problem, making the response comprehensive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

219 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

socioeconomic factors
poverty
unemployment
dysfunctional families
parental guidance
peer pressure
substance abuse
lenient laws
weak enforcement
legal system
law enforcement
media influence
desensitize
glorification of crime

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In many countries, the amount o f crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes o f crime? How can we deal with those causes?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

Obesity is now a major global epidemic. What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem?

the best way to make roads safer is to mske vehicle drivers pass exam each year, RTio what extent do you agre or disagree?

You were absent from an important event held by the company you work for. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: Apologize for your absence and explain the reasoning. Explain why you had to be at the other event. Explain what you will do to catch up.

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?