IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Vehicles should be driven by computers, not by people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#vehicles #computers #people
In the modern era, there are conflicting opinions about using auto-transportation to replace
vehicles
 controlled by
people
. I completely agree with
this
 view and I will explain the
the
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reasons behind
this
 aforementioned opinion in two paragraphs below. First of all, using autopilot
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
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 becomes more convenient for
people
’s lives.
This
 is because of the belief that it helps
people
 from wasting their
time
 on controlling
vehicles
.
Moreover
, auto-transportations are more accurate and easy to navigate on the roads. Some countries have already been using
some
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vehicles
 driven by computers,
such
 as the autopilot
airplane
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aeroplane
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 and Tesla cars. If
people
 keep driving and controlling
transports
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transport
show examples
, there will be some drawbacks about it.
For instance
, the rate of traffic accidents will increase significantly because of drunk
people
 or someone who can not focus
while
 joining traffic.
It
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
 leads to the belief that humans are not reliable
to control
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in controlling
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vehicles
.
Furthermore
, there are no biological needs in advanced technology
such
 as artificial intelligence so they can easily drive
the
Correct article usage
apply
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vehicles
 without accidents.
Additionally
, some public
transportations
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transportation
show examples
 should be driven by computers because it will reduce the waste
in
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of
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time
,
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and fuels
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fuels
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fuel
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 in comparison with
people
’s use.
Therefore
, air pollution and other issues can be solved.
For example
, in China, the government allows auto-taxis in residents' daily lives. The scheme reduces engine starting
time
 greatly and optimizes car usage at the same
time
. In fact,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal rapid transit is
also
 in use in some modern metropolises like Dubai and automatically driven buses are used in Singapore airports. In conclusion,
although
 automation technologies still need
time
 and study to reach
its
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their
show examples
 full potential, I still firmly believe that
computer-driven-transportation
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computer-driven transportation
show examples
 is on the horizon.
Submitted by midden-02.tore on

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction is effectively paraphrased. Avoid repetition of phrases like 'the reasons behind this aforementioned opinion.'
task achievement
Develop each main point with more specific details and relevant, varied examples to better support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between ideas and paragraphs by using more transitional phrases.
coherence cohesion
Make sure every paragraph clearly addresses a distinct aspect of your argument to enhance cohesion and clarity.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your arguments well.
supported main points
You provided concrete examples from different countries, which help to support your points.
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