The diagrams show how the bee makes honey and the stages in the production of honey. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features and making comparisons where relevant.
The diagram illustrates the process of how a
bee
makes honey
with 6 main steps, first,
the queen bee
would egg in a honeycomb
and the final step is the bee
leaving nectar in the hive
to produce honey
. Moreover
, the production of honey
begins with removing the honeycomb
from the hive
, and finally
selling it to the customers.
To begin
with, the queen bee
puts the eggs in the honeycomb
, and then
waits for three days, before it becomes a larva. Thirdly
, one week later the larva will be fully grown, and after three more weeks, bees will leave their hive
to gather nectar from the flowers. Lastly
, bees come back to the hive
to leave nectar to make honey
.
Additionally
, in the production of honey
, first,
the beekeeper removes the honeycomb
from the hive
and puts the honeycomb
in the machine to extract honey
. After that, clean the honey
by boiling it, when it is finished, remove the honey
into a jar and ready for selling.Submitted by napatnp18065322 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "first, ".
▼
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words bee, honey, honeycomb, hive with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼