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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

the graph below shows the number of visitors to three museums between 2000 and 2005. summerize the information by selecting and reporting the main feature,and make comparison where relevant.

the graph below shows the number of visitors to three museums between 2000 and 2005. summerize the information by selecting and reporting the main feature,and make comparison where relevant.
#visitors #three #museums #summerize #information #feature #comparison
The graph illustrates the amount of people who visited three museums over a
six year
Add a hyphen
six-year
show examples
 period between 2000-2005.
Overall
, what stands out from the graph is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 there was a
strikingly grow
Replace the word
striking growth
show examples
 for
National
Correct article usage
the National
show examples
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
 from China,
while
 the other two
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
experienced fluctuation in the
number
 of visitors. Looking at the graph, as regards the
number
 of
visitos
Correct your spelling
visitors
visits
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
National
Correct article usage
the National
show examples
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
, the figure rose steadily over the period and peaked at nearly 16 million in 2005, which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is the largest
number
 of visitors
among
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the museums. With respect to the
number
 of visitors
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
Edo
Correct article usage
the Edo
show examples
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
, it started at near 14 million and remained the same in 2001,
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 there was a fluctuation in the next four
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 for Edo.
By contrast
,
MET
Correct article usage
the MET
show examples
museum
 started at 12 million but the figure halved in 2001 and remained the same for
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 year. After that, there was a
strikingly
Change the adverb
striking
show examples
 increase in the
number
 of
visiotrs
Correct your spelling
visitors
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
 years.
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words museum, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuate
  • steadily
  • sharp increase/decrease
  • visitors
  • museum
  • trend
  • peak
  • remain stable
  • yearly
  • notable change
  • comparison
  • highest
  • lowest
  • influence
  • popularity
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