Too much money is spent in maintaining and repairing old buildings, some people think they should be knocked down and give way to modem building. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is no denying the fact that some people believe that the government is spending too much money
in
ancient Change preposition
on
buildings
rather than giving a chance to modern buildings
.while
it is commonly held belief that investing in modern buildings
may be more effective. there is also
an argument opposes
it.
I consider that repairing old Correct pronoun usage
that opposes
buildings
has many benefits for the country
.
To begin
with
ancient Add a comma
with,
buildings
attract tourists from all over the world in other words
a lot of people love to see ancient structures which contributes
to Change the verb form
contribute
enhance
the economy Change the verb form
enhancing
such
as the pyramids in Egypt lot of people around the world loves
to come there to see the ancient structures Correct subject-verb agreement
love
in addition
ancient buildings
teaches tourists the customs and traditions of the country
for instance
when I went to Thailand I learned and I respected them more when I went to the temple because they are really proud of it.
Another point to consider is that ancient buildings
show the real side of the country
to be more specific the Great Wall in china
is a great example Capitalize word
China
if
the conditions and circumstances that Correct your spelling
of
china
went through one day Capitalize word
China
moreover
it helps to remember a town or city’s culture and interesting history so it helps writers or film creators to understand the country
such
as the James Bond movie it was filmed in old
island in Thailand which led to Add an article
the old
an old
improve
the tourism generally in Thailand and specifically in James Bond island.
In conclusion, when the government rebuild old Change the verb form
improving
buildings
it help
to boost the economy in an indirect way by increasing the tourism rateChange the verb form
helps
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task achievement
Improve the introduction by clearly stating your stance and outlining the main points you will discuss in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure consistency in tenses and improve grammar slightly. For example, 'a lot of people love' should be 'a lot of people love to visit' and 'contributes to enhance' should be 'contributes to enhancing'.
task achievement
Provide a more detailed conclusion that not only mentions economic boosts but also summarizes the key points discussed in your body paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay uses relevant and specific examples, such as the Pyramids in Egypt and the Great Wall in China, to support the main points.
coherence cohesion
The transition between paragraphs is smooth, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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