IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

People in major cities suffer from high levels of air pollution, causing health problems for many. What are the main reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

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Many big cities are known for their high levels of
air
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pollution
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, which causes serious illness for city residents.
This
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 essay will discuss the principal reasons for bad
air
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 quality and how
this
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 problem can be tackled. Urban
pollution
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 is generated by several sources with the single largest cause being vehicles. Today, millions of
cars
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 crowd the narrow streets.
As a result
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, the poisonous particles emitted by the machine's diesel and petrol engines become trapped between tall buildings, causing the
pollution
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 levels to accumulate.
Moreover
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, some of the
pollution
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 is
also
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 produced by domestic sources
such
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 as heating systems and manufacturing, though their contributions are usually significantly smaller. From my perspective, the most obvious approach to cleaning up city
air
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 is to fight the biggest polluter which is private
cars
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. In order to reduce their numbers, two main policies should be implemented. The first one is improving public transport. If buses and trains were comfortable, affordable, and fast, more people would use them
instead
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 of driving. The second policy is introducing tax systems on older
cars
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. To avoid paying it, owners will be incentivised to either upgrade to an eco-friendly electric vehicle or simply get rid of their car completely.
Therefore
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, the implementation of these policies together could help cities reduce vehicle ownership and
thus
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pollution
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. In conclusion,
although
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 there are multiple sources of
air
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pollution
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 in large cities, a significant improvement can be achieved by tackling the largest of them: petrol and diesel
cars
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. In order to decrease their numbers, the government should increase the cost of owning a car and develop reliable public transport systems, so that residents can use these
instead
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.

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task achievement
Your essay gives a clear and complete response to the task. However, it can be further improved by including more specific examples and broadening the discussion of contributing factors to pollution beyond motor vehicles.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a logical flow, you could work on providing smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This will help in making your arguments more interconnected.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, providing a clear framework for the essay.
task achievement
You have successfully pinpointed the main causes and offered practical solutions, which shows a good understanding of the task.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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