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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart illustrates consumption of three kinds of fast food by teenagers in Mauritius from 1985 to 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart illustrates consumption of three kinds of fast food by teenagers in Mauritius from 1985 to 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graph compares changes consumption of three kinds of fast food by teenagers in Mauritius from 1985 to 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
 , among these four
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fast
food
Fix the agreement mistake
foods
show examples
, Hamburgers consistently had the highest number of
times
Use synonyms
 eaten per year compared to pizza and fried chicken. In 1985, Consumption of hamburgers started at 10
times
Use synonyms
 eaten per year there was a significant steady rise to 70
times
Use synonyms
 by 2015.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Pizza started the highest at 60
times
Use synonyms
 eaten per year by 1985 but there was
dramatic
Correct article usage
a dramatic
show examples
decreased
Replace the word
decrease
show examples
 to 10
times
Use synonyms
 in 2015.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, consumption of fried chicken increased throughout
this
Linking Words
 period, starting at 3
times
Use synonyms
 in 1985 and rising to 60
times
Use synonyms
 in 2005. Eventually fried chicken
showed
Verb problem
apply
show examples
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 stable from 2005 to 2010. In the following couple of years, there was a
slightly
Change the word
slight
show examples
 grow to 62
times
Use synonyms
 in 2015.
Submitted by somiesunicha.k on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words times with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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