Some people believe that it is best to accept bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss bot these views and give your own opinion
People
have different views about the challenge of bad conditions. While
some people
believe that accept
Wrong verb form
accepting
this
situation, some people
believe it is not acceptable and try to improve our living conditions. I agree that we can overcome bad circumstances.
There are several reasons why we should try being better circumstances our lives
. Firstly
, in a globalized world, we have so m
uch chance to change our job
market. In the USA, generally, immigrants pay approximately 8 thousand USD and training in IT and it offers new job
opportunities. Secondly
, especially if we are young we have so much energy compared to elderly people
and it must give us some encouragement to improve our life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Finally
, every individual has a variety of responsibilities in adult life
so if we do not anything
about our Add a missing verb
do anything
life
standards, no one can improve in our place.
I believe that there are no benefits to being the
pessimistic person in our Correct article usage
a
lives
. If we do not satisfy our jobs or money, even our country, there are many solutions to this
. For instance
, nowadays learning a new language is so simple compared to the past decade. It is true that life
is nearly similar on all continents, but some countries offer more good
Correct word choice
a better
life
quality than others. So we have a chance to immigrate to another country if we have a job
. In addition
, I have experience in my life
work situation, after I had tried to find a job
as a lawyer for 6 months, I found a job
more relaxed environment and I think it is one example that individuals should be more patient and keep trying their improvement , especially young ages.
To sum up
, I think there is no useful impact to our lives
being depressif
person. I believe that we have a great opportunity to change our Correct your spelling
depressive
depressed
lives
thanks to the world's ever-expanding market and its privileges.Submitted by berivan_yilmazz on
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coherency cohesion
Make sure to fully develop and support your ideas. For instance, provide specific examples or further explanations for each point mentioned.
task achievement
To improve clarity and comprehensiveness, elaborate more on your arguments and ensure they are logically connected. Sometimes, the essay feels fragmented.
language use
Review grammar and sentence structure to avoid minor mistakes. This will help in achieving a smoother flow.
structure
The essay clearly includes an introduction and a conclusion, which helps readers understand the main topic and your stance.
example use
You have used relevant and specific examples to support your points, like the example of IT training for immigrants and your personal job search experience.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address both views and provide a balanced discussion, which is key in achieving a higher task response score.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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