IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

How does the lasting value of historical buildings influence your preference for preservation? Give reasons or examples to support your view.

#value #buildings #influence #preservation #support
The
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
most famous building located in my area, the building is known as Top Hill. The building is quite unique and the
buliding
Correct your spelling
building
 was
build
Wrong verb form
built
show examples
 before the independence of my country.
Therefore
, it shows how the British people design the modern
arctitecture
Correct your spelling
architecture
 building in that old era.I loved that building because I thought how the old generation people
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
skillfull
Correct your spelling
skilful
skillfully
 because they have created
such
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
unique things with
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 resources.
Submitted by shahroz99dev on

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coherence cohesion
The essay would greatly benefit from a more structured approach. Start with an introduction that clearly mentions the topic and your stance on it. Each paragraph should focus on one idea or argument, and they should flow logically from one to the next.
task achievement
Expand on your main points to provide a more complete response to the question. For example, you can discuss why the lasting value of historical buildings is important not only to you but to society as a whole. Bring in some unique examples and discuss them in depth.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition and ensure that each sentence adds value to the essay. For instance, you mention the building is unique twice. Instead, elaborate on what makes it unique and its significance.
task achievement
Use more sophisticated vocabulary and complex sentence structures to improve clarity and comprehensiveness. Avoid grammatical errors such as verb tense inconsistencies and spelling mistakes.
task achievement
Your essay shows a personal connection to the topic, which is excellent. This engaging aspect can captivate your reader's interest.
task achievement
The choice of a specific, well-known building in your area as an example adds a personalized touch that can make your argument more compelling.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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