Scientists believe that computers will become more intelligent than human beings. Some people find it is a positive trend while others think it is a negative development. Discuss both points and give your own opinion.
It is believed that the computer is one of the greatest inventions in history.
however
, most people think it is smarter than humans
, and other opponents. In this
essay, I will explain my view on both aspects.
First and foremost, the computer plays an important role in converting human life to digital. Despite the fact that human
mind has a huge capacity Correct article usage
the human
to
memory and thought Change preposition
for
But
Correct word choice
apply
this
invention helps humans
to reflect their notes and letters to digital documents and that plays crucial
role in being eco-friendly. Add an article
a crucial
in
addition supports storage files Capitalize word
In
such
as photos, work files, and books. For example
, in the past books had a lot of space in the house and it was heavy to carry them nowadays, you can save a million books in the device without any problem. This
invention has become a developer day to day and with a lot of shapes. For instance
, Japan innovates computers thin like paper and portable. and after creating the application to be more usable and desirable .
On the other hand
, the opponents see the device is
not intelligent Correct your spelling
as
than
Change preposition
as
humans
because it gives you Correct article usage
the result
result
you want. Correct subject-verb agreement
results
in other words
, it is software that humans
can set the setting and depending on the income it works. Moreover
, it is not secure so anyone can reach the data. For example
, the hackers can steal all the information and blackmail the persons to take money that is
considered from
their viewChange preposition
apply
risky
.
Correct word choice
apply
To sum up
, this
development is patent and occurs an evolution. I firmly agree it is smarter than human
.Fix the agreement mistake
humans
Submitted by ahmedom3991 on
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introduction
Your introduction sets the stage well for your discussion, but you should make it clearer by rephrasing the topic more effectively. For example, you could say, 'While some argue that the increasing intelligence of computers represents a positive trend, others believe this development has negative consequences.'
logical structure
Your essay needs better logical structure. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that ties back to the topic. You can start by clearly stating the main points of both views before presenting your opinion.
supported main points
Ensure all your main points are well supported with clear arguments or evidence. You mentioned the capacity of computers to store information and be eco-friendly; however, you need to develop these points further with more detailed and convincing arguments.
clear comprehensive ideas
Try to elaborate more on your points for task achievement. For instance, when discussing security concerns, you could delve deeper into how this affects individuals or businesses. This will make your essay more comprehensive.
relevant specific examples
Provide more specific examples to back up your points. For instance, when discussing how computers help in storing books, mention specific technologies or applications.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
complete response
You present both sides of the argument, which is good for task achievement.
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