IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You need a website for your business, and you would like to ask your friend to build it. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter Include a brief description of your business Explain what you would like to have on the website Provide some ideas on the use of images on the website. Keywords: business; internet

#website #business #friend #description #images #keywords #internet
I hope you are doing well. I am writing
this
 to show you the excitement of launching my business
website
. Being a web developer you have made numerous websites
thats
Correct your spelling
that's
show examples
 why I am asking your assistance to develop the
website
 for my
brand
. As you are aware
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
I am very Keen
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cosmetic products and it was a dream for me to have my own cosmetic business. After too many years of
hardworking
Correct word choice
hard work
show examples
, I am going to launch
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my own cosmetic
brand
this
 fall.
Although
, it is laborious to establish
this
 business in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
high
Replace the word
highly
show examples
 competitive market but
hardwork
Correct your spelling
work
 and dedication can make it happen.
Furthermore
, selling
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
 toughest profession in today’s era and it needs
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
 and pressure. Since
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 advancement in technology provides
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
 for
start ups
Add a hyphen
start-ups
show examples
, I decided to sell the products through online platforms
such
 as
website
Fix the agreement mistake
websites
show examples
,
instagram
Change the capitalization
Instagram
show examples
 and youtube. The
website
 will contain all types of
skin care
Correct your spelling
skincare
show examples
 and hair care products.
In addition
, discounts and quizzes will be available for customers to build their interest in the
brand
. I would suggest you
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
make an attractive
website
 by adding some pictures and graphics which leads to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 captivating and fascinating
website
 for customers. It would be great if you
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
 assist me
to create
Change preposition
in creating
show examples
 the online site for my
brand
. Yours truly, Harmeet Kaur
Submitted by harmeetkohli31 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Try to break down longer paragraphs into smaller sections for clarity.
coherence cohesion
Improve sentence structure and grammar to increase readability. For example, 'As you are aware of that I am very Keen in the cosmetic products' can be refined to 'As you know, I am very keen on cosmetic products.'
task achievement
To further achieve a high task response, including more specific details about what images you want on the website and their placement would provide a clearer picture for your friend.
task achievement
A brief mention of your friend’s potential role or contribution can make the letter more engaging and specific.
suitable writing tone
The tone of the letter is friendly and appropriate for writing to a friend.
task achievement
The paragraph on the business description provides a good insight into your passion and hard work, which is very engaging.
coherence cohesion
The closing paragraph clearly states the request, making the purpose of the letter very clear.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!