IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Some individuals think that medical professionals and engineers must work in the same nation where they were trained,
while
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 others argue that freedom should be provided to work in any
country
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according to
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 their
wish
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wishes
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.
This
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 essay will argue that
although
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 working in the same
country
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 would be more beneficial to the
people
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 of that
country
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, working only there would be an injustice to the professionals. On one hand,
people
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 think that after gaining all the skills from a nation, they should serve them back because it is a kind of responsibility. Several students travel to other
countries
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 for better opportunities and return
back
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apply
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, which only occupy the seat during
study
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the study
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, but after graduation, there will be no skilled
people
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 left to serve the
country
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back
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
For example
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, the
country
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 which provides medical classes lacks doctors, and
people
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 from those
countries
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 need to suffer
due to
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 a lack of treatment.
On the other hand
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, students already
spent
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spend
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 lots of money during their learning time, so they should be free to go to any nation where they can earn what they deserve. Technology is
very
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so
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 advanced that they can compare the
salary
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salaries
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 provided by different
countries
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 and start the
further
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 process.
For instance
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, doctors and engineers have high incomes in the USA and UK in comparison to South Asian
countries
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. So, it is obvious they will choose the better option. In conclusion,
although
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 it is not totally fair to leave the
country
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 which provides the training once it is completed, I think they should be given freedom of choice so that they can work without any burden.
Also
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, working without any
restriction
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restrictions
show examples
 provides better results.

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task achievement
It would enhance your essay if you could elaborate more on the consequences and benefits of each viewpoint. Adding more specific examples or data could strengthen your points.
coherence and cohesion
Your main ideas are clear, but to enrich the essay's coherence and cohesion, you could use more linking words and phrases. This will help in creating smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear start and end to your argument.
task achievement
Your essay provides a fair discussion of both views, which is essential for a balanced argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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