Some people claim that public museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and works of art by using a computer and the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #museums #art #galleries #objects #works #computer #internet

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Nowadays, everything

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

be represented on the internet, even more items from the past. It can influence people to think that

places

which show the earlier

objects

such

as museums and

art

galleries are not necessary. I strongly disagree with

this

paradigm, and in the following paragraphs, I shall elucidate my perspective.

To begin

with, galleries and museums are not just

places

which keep items which are related

with

Change preposition

show examples

the past story. Even more, they serve as a hub of civilization knowledge, specifically.

Consequently

, when people visit those buildings, they

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

understand comprehensively

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

civilization conditions

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

economy,

social

Replace the word

society

show examples

, politics, etc. which are contained by the

artifacts

Change the spelling

artefacts

show examples

, something which could not be done effectively on the internet.

For example

, when I visited the National Museum of Indonesia, I did not just absorb

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Indonesian history,

however

, social,

economy

Replace the word

economic

show examples

, and

culture

Replace the word

cultural

show examples

could be understood

Change preposition

show examples

the same time.

Furthermore

, by displaying the

objects

, visitors could measure and have real experience from the displayed historical features.

This

condition could not be achieved by someone if he just reads on the webpage about historical-related items

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and

art works

Correct your spelling

artworks

show examples

As a consequence

, museum and

art

galleries

Change the noun form

gallery

show examples

enthusiasts may have

special

Add an article

a special

show examples

memory and connection with their

showed

Wrong verb form

shown

show examples

features after they attend directly

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

earlier constructions, something which can make them comprehend more about the

Change the adjective

previously

show examples

seen things.

For instance

, after seeing ancient pictures at the National Gallery, I

had

Verb problem

was

show examples

enthusiasm

Replace the word

enthusiastic

show examples

to learn more about them. To summarize,

places

which keep past things and

art

-related

objects

could not

Wrong verb form

cannot

show examples

be superseded by the internet to learn about history and

art

. By visiting those

places

, people would have

complex

Add an article

a complex

show examples

understanding

about

Change preposition

show examples

civilization

condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

show examples

in the ancient era, and they may have

enthusiasm

Change the article

the enthusiasm

show examples

to learn more about

art

and historical

objects

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Tue Aug 13 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to use a greater variety of connectors and transitional phrases to enhance the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to guide the reader through your arguments better.

task achievement

Work on refining your sentence structure and grammar for a more polished and professional essay.

task achievement

You have a clear and strong position on the topic, which is consistently maintained throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

Your essay includes a well-structured introduction and conclusion, adding to its overall clarity and cohesion.

task achievement

You provided relevant examples to support your points, which makes your argument more convincing.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

294 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

virtual tours
digital archives
art appreciation
cultural heritage
historical objects
curating artifacts
interactive exhibits
preservation
tangible experience
technological advancements
cultural institutions
accessibility
authenticity
immersive experience
civic engagement
cultural enrichment
educational outreach
visitor engagement

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Some people claim that public museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and works of art by using a computer and the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now ‘one big traffic jam’. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage from using their cars?

Some people think that universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Q) Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoid any change. others, however, think that change is always a good thing. discuss both views and give your opinion.