Some people think that older employees contribute most to the success of a company. Others think that younger people play a more vital role. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
Some argue that the support that senior
employees
provide to a company
leads to much more success than the one given by people
at a younger age. Others think completely the opposite. This
essay agrees that although
older employees
offer an invaluable contribution, people
with younger and fresher minds might provide new ideas to revolutionise and contribute to any business.
On one hand, old staff members who have gathered plenty of experience
during long periods of time working in a certain industry or company
are able to supply all the problem
-solving skills that are needed in a company
. All of them have gone through different experiences including serious issues and risk-taking procedures which have given them the awareness of handling different tasks and situations. For example
, an educational leader (who is usually an old employee) who supervises the correct flow of educational activities offered to the children, might encounter the same problem
many times and apply an accurate and quick solution. However
, the types of problems found in a company
change with the years which might represent a bigger problem
for old employees
.
On the other hand
, although
young employees
do not possess all the experience
that senior employees
might have, they can definitely provide fresh and innovative ideas. With each new generation, not only new perspectives are brought but also
more people
who are open to dealing with challenges, changes and new starts. This
means that whenever a company
faces a new problem
or starts a new project, young people
will be the first ones to cooperate, presenting new perspectives or ways of solving a problem
. For example
, a room leader who is in charge of any room in a childcare centre might not have plenty of experience
, yet this
person might apply many more strategies due to
his creativity and recent study.
In conclusion, no one denies that older employees
possess vast experience
which represents a unique advantage when working in a certain company
or industry for a long time. Nevertheless
, from my point of view, the innovative insights and variety of ideas that young people
provide could offer many more solutions and therefore
benefits to any business.Submitted by nila.hiperu on
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task achievement
While your essay is well-organized and addresses both views adequately, try to present counter-arguments more explicitly to strengthen your discussion. This can show a balance in your argumentation.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay's coherence would benefit from the use of more linking words and phrases to make the connections between your ideas clearer. Words such as 'furthermore', 'moreover', and 'in contrast' can help.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay effectively includes both an introduction and a conclusion, which are critical components of a well-structured essay.
task achievement
Main points and arguments are generally well-supported with relevant examples, enhancing the credibility of your viewpoint.
coherence and cohesion
Logical structure is maintained throughout the essay, making it easy for the reader to follow your line of reasoning.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?