Some people think that older employees contribute most to the success of a company. Others think that younger people play a more vital role. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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Some argue that the support that senior
employees
provide to a
company
leads to much more success than the one given by
people
at a younger age. Others think completely the opposite.
This
essay agrees that
although
older
employees
offer an invaluable contribution,
people
with younger and fresher minds might provide new ideas to revolutionise and contribute to any business. On one hand, old staff members who have gathered plenty of
experience
during long periods of time working in a certain industry or
company
are able to supply all the
problem
-solving skills that are needed in a
company
. All of them have gone through different experiences including serious issues and risk-taking procedures which have given them the awareness of handling different tasks and situations.
For example
, an educational leader (who is usually an old employee) who supervises the correct flow of educational activities offered to the children, might encounter the same
problem
many times and apply an accurate and quick solution.
However
, the types of problems found in a
company
change with the years which might represent a bigger
problem
for old
employees
.
On the other hand
,
although
young
employees
do not possess all the
experience
that senior
employees
might have, they can definitely provide fresh and innovative ideas. With each new generation, not only new perspectives are brought but
also
more
people
who are open to dealing with challenges, changes and new starts.
This
means that whenever a
company
faces a new
problem
or starts a new project, young
people
will be the first ones to cooperate, presenting new perspectives or ways of solving a
problem
.
For example
, a room leader who is in charge of any room in a childcare centre might not have plenty of
experience
, yet
this
person might apply many more strategies
due to
his creativity and recent study. In conclusion, no one denies that older
employees
possess vast
experience
which represents a unique advantage when working in a certain
company
or industry for a long time.
Nevertheless
, from my point of view, the innovative insights and variety of ideas that young
people
provide could offer many more solutions and
therefore
benefits to any business.
Submitted by nila.hiperu on

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task achievement
While your essay is well-organized and addresses both views adequately, try to present counter-arguments more explicitly to strengthen your discussion. This can show a balance in your argumentation.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay's coherence would benefit from the use of more linking words and phrases to make the connections between your ideas clearer. Words such as 'furthermore', 'moreover', and 'in contrast' can help.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay effectively includes both an introduction and a conclusion, which are critical components of a well-structured essay.
task achievement
Main points and arguments are generally well-supported with relevant examples, enhancing the credibility of your viewpoint.
coherence and cohesion
Logical structure is maintained throughout the essay, making it easy for the reader to follow your line of reasoning.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • vital role
  • deep understanding
  • valuable assets
  • mentoring
  • wisdom
  • tech-savvy
  • innovative ideas
  • eager to learn
  • fast-paced environments
  • dynamic
  • forward-thinking
  • diverse age range
  • leverage
  • unique strengths
  • harmonious
  • effective team
  • continuous learning
  • innovation
  • stability
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