Some people think that older employees contribute most to the success of a company. Others think that younger people play a more vital role. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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Some argue that the support that senior
employees
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provide to a
company
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leads to much more success than the one given by
people
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at a younger age. Others think completely the opposite.
This
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essay agrees that
although
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older
employees
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offer an invaluable contribution,
people
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with younger and fresher minds might provide new ideas to revolutionise and contribute to any business. On one hand, old staff members who have gathered plenty of
experience
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during long periods of time working in a certain industry or
company
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are able to supply all the
problem
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-solving skills that are needed in a
company
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. All of them have gone through different experiences including serious issues and risk-taking procedures which have given them the awareness of handling different tasks and situations.
For example
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, an educational leader (who is usually an old employee) who supervises the correct flow of educational activities offered to the children, might encounter the same
problem
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many times and apply an accurate and quick solution.
However
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, the types of problems found in a
company
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change with the years which might represent a bigger
problem
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for old
employees
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.
On the other hand
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,
although
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young
employees
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do not possess all the
experience
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that senior
employees
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might have, they can definitely provide fresh and innovative ideas. With each new generation, not only new perspectives are brought but
also
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more
people
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who are open to dealing with challenges, changes and new starts.
This
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means that whenever a
company
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faces a new
problem
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or starts a new project, young
people
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will be the first ones to cooperate, presenting new perspectives or ways of solving a
problem
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.
For example
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, a room leader who is in charge of any room in a childcare centre might not have plenty of
experience
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, yet
this
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person might apply many more strategies
due to
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his creativity and recent study. In conclusion, no one denies that older
employees
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possess vast
experience
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which represents a unique advantage when working in a certain
company
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or industry for a long time.
Nevertheless
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, from my point of view, the innovative insights and variety of ideas that young
people
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provide could offer many more solutions and
therefore
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benefits to any business.
Submitted by nila.hiperu on

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task achievement
While your essay is well-organized and addresses both views adequately, try to present counter-arguments more explicitly to strengthen your discussion. This can show a balance in your argumentation.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay's coherence would benefit from the use of more linking words and phrases to make the connections between your ideas clearer. Words such as 'furthermore', 'moreover', and 'in contrast' can help.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay effectively includes both an introduction and a conclusion, which are critical components of a well-structured essay.
task achievement
Main points and arguments are generally well-supported with relevant examples, enhancing the credibility of your viewpoint.
coherence and cohesion
Logical structure is maintained throughout the essay, making it easy for the reader to follow your line of reasoning.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • vital role
  • deep understanding
  • valuable assets
  • mentoring
  • wisdom
  • tech-savvy
  • innovative ideas
  • eager to learn
  • fast-paced environments
  • dynamic
  • forward-thinking
  • diverse age range
  • leverage
  • unique strengths
  • harmonious
  • effective team
  • continuous learning
  • innovation
  • stability
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