Gaming is argued to have a bad influence on young children but some people think that it could have a positive effect on them as well. Which view do you agree with? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.
Whether gaming can negatively impact the young generation has become an ongoing debate since the invention of computer
games
. Even though I believe that gaming could help adults to relive
stress, it is not recommended for young Correct your spelling
relieve
children
to give games
a try due to
its
addictive nature and inappropriate Correct pronoun usage
their
content
. I will explain these points with examples in the following essay.
To start with, games
are designed to be captivating and engaging to attract user
to play. Most young Fix the agreement mistake
users
children
, if not all, who do not have the maturity to resist distractions, could be obsessed with gaming because they are generally more interesting than books. Gaming addiction, a worldwide common issues
, can drive pupils’ focus away from Fix the agreement mistake
issue
study
to Wrong verb form
studying
games
. Millions of adult addicts are suffering from the impulsive need to play and cannot help getting rid of the interactive entertainment, let alone the young children
who have greater difficulty with self-control.
In addition
to addiction, inappropriate content
in games
also
worries parents that their children
might learn violent and sexual ideas from them. First,
violent and action theme dominates the market. Take the popular gun game CoS as an example, players need to kill others to win. It undeniably arouses children
’s interest on
guns and weaponsChange preposition
in
,
and might lead to Remove the comma
apply
behavioral
issues, if they want to mimic the characters in the virtual world. Change the spelling
behavioural
Secondly
, sexually explicit materials are often adopted in games
as well, especially the
Correct article usage
apply
animated
. Introducing interactive entertainment to toddlers means exposing them Correct pronoun usage
animated ones
in
inappropriate Change preposition
to
content
.
In conclusion, gaming has detrimental effects on young students, leading them to addictive behaviors
at the Change the spelling
behaviours
expenses
of academic performance and exposing them Fix the agreement mistake
expense
in
inappropriate Change preposition
to
content
. It is therefore
not recommended for parents to allow their children
to play games
at the
early age.Correct article usage
an
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task achievement
While your essay presents clear ideas and provides examples, try to elaborate more on each main point to make a more convincing argument. This will enhance the completeness of your response.
coherence cohesion
Ensuring a smooth transition between paragraphs can help improve the overall logic flow of the essay. Try using more cohesive devices and linking words.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for your argument and outlines the main points you will discuss.
coherence cohesion
The essay concludes with a clear summary of your stance, reinforcing your argument and providing a solid wrap-up.
task achievement
You have supported your points with relevant examples, such as the reference to the game CoS, which strengthens your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.