Many areas in the globe depend on tourism as a major source of income. Sadly, tourism might be a source of problem if it is not well managed. discuss the advantage and disadvantage of tourism and give opinion

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Many locations in the globe depend on

tourism

Use synonyms

as a primary source of earning. Sadly,

tourism

Use synonyms

might be a source of complications if it is not properly organised.

Although

Linking Words

, there are multiple drawbacks to

this

Linking Words

trend

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

I believe it does have more advantages in

comparisons

Fix the agreement mistake

comparison

show examples

with disadvantages. There are several advantages of

tourism

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

Tourism

Use synonyms

creates huge employment opportunities for unemployed people. Many

tourisms

Correct your spelling

tourists

show examples

related service

such

Linking Words

hotel

Fix the agreement mistake

hotels

show examples

motel

Fix the agreement mistake

motels

show examples

tour

Correct word choice

and tour

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guide

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guides

show examples

creates lots

job

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of job

show examples

vacancy

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vacancies

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, where people can work part-time or

full time

Add a hyphen

full-time

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and

can

Verb problem

apply

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earn money.

As a result

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, they can give a better life to their families. Another good aspect is that

tourism

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excellent

Add an article

an excellent

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way to earn foreign currency. When

foreign

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a foreign

show examples

tourist comes to a country they need to spend money on different services,

for

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instance

Add the comma(s)

instance,

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accommodation, recreation, food etc., and they need to pay taxes to get these services. By collecting taxes, a country can earn

huge

Correct article usage

a huge

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amount

revenue

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of revenue

show examples

For example

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, Thailand

earn

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earns

show examples

a huge amount of money from

Use synonyms

tourism

Correct article usage

the tourism

show examples

sector every year.

However

Linking Words

Tourism

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

some major

disadvantage

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disadvantages

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. The main disadvantage associated with

tourism

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is that it destroys our environment. To be more exact, tourists sometimes throw harmful

stuffs

Change the wording

stuff

kinds of stuff

pieces of stuff

show examples

Change preposition

into

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nature,

for example

Linking Words

, plastic bags, bottles,

straw

Fix the agreement mistake

straws

show examples

polythene

Correct word choice

and polythene

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which

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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dangerous for soil

Correct your spelling

and

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animal

Fix the agreement mistake

animals

show examples

As a consequence

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, many endangered animals

dies

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die

show examples

every year. A prime example of

this

Linking Words

is that every year many Whales

dies

Correct subject-verb agreement

die

show examples

because of consuming plastics which was thrown by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

tourists. Another drawback is that

tourism

Use synonyms

contributes to

increase

Wrong verb form

increased

show examples

global warming. People cut down

forest

Fix the agreement mistake

forests

show examples

to make hotels, recreation

centre

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centres

show examples

, amusement

park

Fix the agreement mistake

parks

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and other

Use synonyms

tourism associated

Add a hyphen

tourism-associated

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services which

is reducing

Wrong verb form

reduce

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the level

oxygen

Change preposition

of oxygen

show examples

increasing

Correct word choice

and increasing

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CO2 in our atmosphere.

To conclude

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, even though there are some notable drawbacks

Change preposition

show examples

tourism

Use synonyms

, it seems to me that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

mahamudzisanTue Aug 13 2024

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general

Try to avoid repetition of phrases like 'tourism' and vary your vocabulary to maintain reader interest and improve the stylistic quality of the essay.

task response

Develop the argument further by including more detailed analysis. For instance, explain how tourism can potentially boost other sectors of the economy.

general

Ensure the use of accurate grammar and punctuation. Proofreading can help you catch minor errors that might distract the reader.

structure

The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which help in maintaining coherence and cohesion.

task response

You included relevant and specific examples, such as the situation in Thailand, which adds credibility to your writing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

302 words

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Many areas in the globe depend on tourism as a major source of income. Sadly, tourism might be a source of problem if it is not well managed. discuss the advantage and disadvantage of tourism and give opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe governments should spend money in saving languages of few speakers from dying out completely. Others think this is a waste of financial resources. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

An increasing number of people are changing their careers during their working time. What is the cause of this trend and is it a positive or negative development?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

More and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in a foreign country. Do the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks.

Some people say that the governments should pay for health care and education but others think that this is not the government's responsibility.Discuss both these views and give your opinion.