Many areas in the globe depend on tourism as a major source of income. Sadly, tourism might be a source of problem if it is not well managed. discuss the advantage and disadvantage of tourism and give opinion
Many locations in the globe depend on
tourism
as a primary source of earning. Sadly, tourism
might be a source of complications if it is not properly organised. Although
, there are multiple drawbacks to this
trend but
I believe it does have
more advantages in Remove the conjunction
apply
comparisons
with disadvantages. There are several advantages of Fix the agreement mistake
comparison
tourism
. Firstly
, Tourism
creates huge employment opportunities for unemployed people. Many tourisms
related
service Correct your spelling
tourists
such
as hotel
, Fix the agreement mistake
hotels
motel
, Fix the agreement mistake
motels
tour
Correct word choice
and tour
guide
creates lots Fix the agreement mistake
guides
job
Change preposition
of job
vacancy
, where people can work part-time or Fix the agreement mistake
vacancies
full time
and Add a hyphen
full-time
can
earn money. Verb problem
apply
As a result
, they can give a better life to their families. Another good aspect is that tourism
is excellent
way to earn foreign currency. When Add an article
an excellent
foreign
tourist comes to a country they need to spend money on different services, Add an article
a foreign
for
instance
accommodation, recreation, food etc., and they need to pay taxes to get these services. By collecting taxes, a country can earn Add the comma(s)
instance,
huge
amount Correct article usage
a huge
revenue
. Change preposition
of revenue
For example
, Thailand earn
a huge amount of money from Change the verb form
earns
tourism
sector every year.
Correct article usage
the tourism
However
, Tourism
also
have
some major Change the verb form
has
disadvantage
. The main disadvantage associated with Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
tourism
is that it destroys our environment. To be more exact, tourists sometimes throw harmful stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
in
nature, Change preposition
into
for example
, plastic bags, bottles, straw
, Fix the agreement mistake
straws
polythene
which Correct word choice
and polythene
is
dangerous for soil Correct subject-verb agreement
are
an
Correct your spelling
and
animal
. Fix the agreement mistake
animals
As a consequence
, many endangered animals dies
every year. A prime example of Change the verb form
die
this
is that every year many Whales dies
because of consuming plastics which was thrown by Correct subject-verb agreement
die
the
tourists. Another drawback is that Correct article usage
apply
tourism
contributes to increase
global warming. People cut down Wrong verb form
increased
forest
to make hotels, recreation Fix the agreement mistake
forests
centre
, amusement Fix the agreement mistake
centres
park
and other Fix the agreement mistake
parks
tourism associated
services which Add a hyphen
tourism-associated
is reducing
the level Wrong verb form
reduce
oxygen
Change preposition
of oxygen
increasing
CO2 in our atmosphere.
Correct word choice
and increasing
To conclude
, even though there are some notable drawbacks of
Change preposition
to
tourism
, it seems to me that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.Submitted by mahamudzisan on
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general
Try to avoid repetition of phrases like 'tourism' and vary your vocabulary to maintain reader interest and improve the stylistic quality of the essay.
task response
Develop the argument further by including more detailed analysis. For instance, explain how tourism can potentially boost other sectors of the economy.
general
Ensure the use of accurate grammar and punctuation. Proofreading can help you catch minor errors that might distract the reader.
structure
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which help in maintaining coherence and cohesion.
task response
You included relevant and specific examples, such as the situation in Thailand, which adds credibility to your writing.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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