Many areas in the globe depend on tourism as a major source of income. Sadly, tourism might be a source of problem if it is not well managed. discuss the advantage and disadvantage of tourism and give opinion

#areas #globe #tourism #source #income #advantage

Many locations in the globe depend on

tourism

as a primary source of earning. Sadly,

tourism

might be a source of complications if it is not properly organised.

Although

, there are multiple drawbacks to

this

trend

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

I believe it does have more advantages in

comparisons

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comparison

show examples

with disadvantages. There are several advantages of

tourism

Firstly

Tourism

creates huge employment opportunities for unemployed people. Many

tourisms

Correct your spelling

tourists

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related service

such

hotel

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hotels

show examples

motel

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motels

show examples

tour

Correct word choice

and tour

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guide

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guides

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creates lots

job

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of job

show examples

vacancy

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vacancies

show examples

, where people can work part-time or

full time

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full-time

show examples

and

can

Verb problem

apply

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earn money.

As a result

, they can give a better life to their families. Another good aspect is that

tourism

excellent

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an excellent

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way to earn foreign currency. When

foreign

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a foreign

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tourist comes to a country they need to spend money on different services,

for

instance

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instance,

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accommodation, recreation, food etc., and they need to pay taxes to get these services. By collecting taxes, a country can earn

huge

Correct article usage

a huge

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amount

revenue

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of revenue

show examples

For example

, Thailand

earn

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earns

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a huge amount of money from

tourism

Correct article usage

the tourism

show examples

sector every year.

However

Tourism

also

have

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has

show examples

some major

disadvantage

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disadvantages

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. The main disadvantage associated with

tourism

is that it destroys our environment. To be more exact, tourists sometimes throw harmful

stuffs

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stuff

kinds of stuff

pieces of stuff

show examples

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into

show examples

nature,

for example

, plastic bags, bottles,

straw

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straws

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polythene

Correct word choice

and polythene

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which

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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dangerous for soil

Correct your spelling

and

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animal

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animals

show examples

As a consequence

, many endangered animals

dies

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die

show examples

every year. A prime example of

this

is that every year many Whales

dies

Correct subject-verb agreement

die

show examples

because of consuming plastics which was thrown by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

tourists. Another drawback is that

tourism

contributes to

increase

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increased

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global warming. People cut down

forest

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forests

show examples

to make hotels, recreation

centre

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centres

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, amusement

park

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parks

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and other

tourism associated

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tourism-associated

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services which

is reducing

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reduce

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the level

oxygen

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of oxygen

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increasing

Correct word choice

and increasing

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CO2 in our atmosphere.

To conclude

, even though there are some notable drawbacks

Change preposition

show examples

tourism

, it seems to me that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Submitted by mahamudzisan on Tue Aug 13 2024

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general

Try to avoid repetition of phrases like 'tourism' and vary your vocabulary to maintain reader interest and improve the stylistic quality of the essay.

task response

Develop the argument further by including more detailed analysis. For instance, explain how tourism can potentially boost other sectors of the economy.

general

Ensure the use of accurate grammar and punctuation. Proofreading can help you catch minor errors that might distract the reader.

structure

The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which help in maintaining coherence and cohesion.

task response

You included relevant and specific examples, such as the situation in Thailand, which adds credibility to your writing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

302 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many areas in the globe depend on tourism as a major source of income. Sadly, tourism might be a source of problem if it is not well managed. discuss the advantage and disadvantage of tourism and give opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people use social media on regular basis in order to keep in touch with the news and with other people. Do you think that the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages

Food travels thousands of miles from farmers to consumers. Some people think that it would be better for our environment and economy if people consumed locally produced foods. To what extent do the advantages of this would outweigh the disadvantages?

Social media have both negative and positive effect do you agree or not?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones.

The use of mobile phone is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phone should be banned like smoking. To what extend do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.