IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In recent years, remote work has become increasingly popular due to advancements in technology and changes in workplace culture. Some people believe that remote work enhances employee productivity, while others argue that it has a negative impact. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#years #work #advancements #technology #changes #workplace #culture #people #employee #productivity #impact
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,
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the circumstance
a circumstance
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circumstance
Fix the agreement mistake
circumstances
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 of
varies
Replace the word
various
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 jobs
has been
Wrong verb form
have
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 changed in different aspects because of
the technology
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technological
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improvement
Fix the agreement mistake
improvements
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;
according to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 subject,
people
Use synonyms
 have a chance to
work
Use synonyms
 from anywhere for their bosses.
While
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 some believe
this
Linking Words
 action
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
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 the capacity of
employees
Use synonyms
for being
Change preposition
to be
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 more functional, others have an opinion
which
Correct word choice
that
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 it bears detrimental influences. I agree with the first group and both viewpoints will be argued. As
it is
Verb problem
apply
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mentioned above, a group of
people
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 claim that remote working will have
negative
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a negative
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 effect on careers for some reasons;
first,
Linking Words
managers
have
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do have
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 not enough control
on
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over
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 their
staffs
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staff
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 and they cannot manage projects without their
presents
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presence
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.
Second,
Linking Words
some employers cannot trust their
employees
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 who may not be responsible enough for their duties; in
this
Linking Words
way
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way,
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 patrons will face lots of problems
in
Change preposition
with
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process
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processes
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 and deadlines.
Third,
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people
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 will lose the opportunity to
work
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 in a stimulating working environment and
finding
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find
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colleague
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colleagues
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; in
mentioned
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the mentioned
a mentioned
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 situation,
people
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 will not achieve an experience in teamwork which benefits them in diverse aspects of their lives. Others and I,
in contrast
Linking Words
, opine that the opportunity of remote
work
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 is a “
win win
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win-win
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” situation for both
staffs
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staff
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 and managers. Many trades
such
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 as designing, programming and teaching can be done by
people
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 from
where ever
Correct your spelling
wherever
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 they are. In
this
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cases
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case
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,
employees
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 do not have to consider budgets for workplaces which require vigorous
invest
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investment
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.
On the other hand
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, the efficiency of
professions
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professionals
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 will increase when they
work
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 in places
which
Correct word choice
where
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 they are comfortable, and their energy will
save
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be saved
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 if they know that they can manage their own time and do not have to waste hours in
office
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the office
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 when they have nothing to do.
In addition
Linking Words
,
people
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 from different countries and regions are able to
work
Use synonyms
 together or share their ideas online by using new technologies; indeed,
this
Linking Words
 blessing circumstance was not possible in previous decades. In brief, there are two viewpoints: from one perspective, remote
work
Use synonyms
 is beneficial; from another, it
effects
Replace the word
affects
show examples
 careers negatively. I fiercely agree with the first group and in my point of view, mobile working not only helps
employees
Use synonyms
 to climb their career ladder
,
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apply
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 but
also
Linking Words
 bears constructive effects on different aspects of occupations and job owners.
Submitted by shaghayegh95shadman on

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task achievement
Consider refining your introduction for clarity and conciseness. Define terms like 'remote work' and set a clear tone for the discussion.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, discuss specific case studies or statistics that support your views.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smoother transitions between points. This will enhance the logical flow of the essay and make it easier for readers to follow your argument.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both views thoroughly and offers a clear opinion, meeting the requirements of the task.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and sufficiently strong, helping to frame the essay effectively.
coherence cohesion
You provided a logical structure throughout the essay, making sure different points were covered in an organized manner.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • flexible schedule
  • peak hours
  • elimination of commuting
  • personalized work environment
  • focus and efficiency
  • feelings of isolation
  • detachment from the team
  • motivation
  • face-to-face interaction
  • hinder communication
  • collaboration
  • execute tasks
  • distractions
  • productive work
What to do next:
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