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Writing Samples
Band 7

Below are two charts showing the top 12 nations in military spending for 2005 and those countries' GDP growth for the same year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

Below are two charts showing the top 12 nations in military spending for 2005 and those countries' GDP growth for the same year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.
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The bar charts compare the military spending of the top 12 nations in 2005 with their
GDP
growth
 for the same year.
Overall
, it
it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 evident that the United States had the highest military expenditure,
while
 China had the highest
GDP
growth
. Other Asian nations
also
 tended to have higher
GDP
growth
 rates than the Western European countries. The United States dominated military spending in 2005, with an expenditure of $400
billion
, which is five times that of both China and Russia, at $80
billion
 each. The
U.K
Correct your spelling
U.K.
, France and Japan occupied the third highest position ($50
billion
), fourth ($40
billion
) and fifth ($35
billion
) respectively. Germany's military spending was half that of France. India and Saudi Arabia both spent $10
billion
,
while
 South Korea's expenditure was slightly less at around $8
billion
.
By contrast
, the figures for Italy and Australia were the lowest, at only 5
billion
 dollars. As regards
GDP
growth
 in 2005, China took the lead with a rate of 9%, followed by Russia with 7%. The figures for India and Saudi Arabia were roughly the same (around 6%). South Korea's
growth
 rate of 5% was marginally higher than that of the United States (4.8%). The figures for Australia, the United Kingdom and Japan were 4%, 3,5% and just over 3% respectively. Meanwhile, France, Germany, and Italy all had the lowest
GDP
growth
 at around 2%.
Submitted by weezel on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words gdp, growth, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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