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Band 2.5

Since the beginning of the 20th century, the number of endangered species has increased significantly and we have witnessed more mass extinctions in this period than in any other period of time. State some reasons for this and provide possible solutions.

#century #species #mass #extinctions #period #time
It is true that, from the
starting
Replace the word
start
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 of the 20th century, the proportion of threatened animal has grown substantially and we have experienced more mass disappearance in
this
 era than in any other period in history. There are
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of reasons for
this
, but steps can definitely be taken to tackle the complications with appropriate initiatives by the governments,
media
 and other bodies.
However
, there are several steps
could
Correct pronoun usage
that could
show examples
 be taken to curb the problem. I firmly believe that the change must start with the government by introducing strict laws against people who kills endangered
animals
.
For example
, a huge fine or prison sentence for repeat offenders can reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unlawful poaching.
Second
Change the article
The second
show examples
 measure would be organizing social awareness by the
media
.
Media
 can make some programs about the importance of the
animals
 for environment which can motivate people to save these
animals
.
For instance
,
v
Change preposition
apply
show examples
 a weekly TV or radio program can be broadcast. In conclusion, the concern of endangered
animals
 will continue to arise,
however
, with the right actions
implement
Change the form of the verb
implemented
show examples
 by the administration and
media
 the issue could be controlled sensible and
easily
Change the word
easy
show examples
.
Submitted by mahamudzisan on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific reasons and examples to support your main points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on providing a clearer structure by ensuring each body paragraph has a single main idea and a topic sentence. This will make your essay more organized and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing the overall argument.
task achievement
The suggestion of using media and government policies to address the issue is relevant and practical.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • endangered species
  • mass extinctions
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystems
  • ecological imbalance
  • human well-being
  • illegal hunting
  • poaching
  • habitat destruction
  • climate change
  • awareness
  • education
  • conservation
  • laws
  • regulations
  • international cooperation
  • sustainable practices
  • protected areas
  • public awareness
  • community-based conservation efforts
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