1.Some people say that when deciding how taxes should be spent, governments should prioritise health care. Other people believe that there are more important priorities for taxpayers' money. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some
people
say that the government
should spend taxpayer money
on health
care
. However
, I strongly believe that there are more important the government
should prioritise.
On the one hand, the government
should spend funds on health
care
because the most important thing to people
is to have good health
. As long as the government
can ensure that they provide a good health
care
service to their population, their people
will be able to be the main labour force to improve the economics
of the Replace the word
economy
country
.
On the other hand
, I believe that there are more important things the government
should prioritize because of 2 reasons. The first reason is government
should spend funds on education. Because the education system is a fundamental preparation for a country
if it wants to grow in the future. It will lead to developing the main workforce which is of high quantity and quality for the country
. For example
, Singapore's government
invested a lot of money
in education
system and today the resulted in they are even though a small Add an article
the education
country
but become one of the most powerful countries in the world.
Another reason is that the government
should spend taxpayer money
to boost the economy by improving the unemployment rate for their people
. It will help to release pressure on people
who are high
paying taxes Correct word choice
apply
as well as
reduce the economy's dependence on those people
. By the means time
, societies will be more equal, reduce social evils and increase happiness.
In conclusion, Change preposition
of time
while
people
think that government
should spend taxpayer Correct article usage
the government
money
on health
care
, it seems to me that there are more important things to prioritise.Submitted by luantrat on
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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear, but the introduction could be expanded to provide a better context for the discussion.
coherence cohesion
There are noticeable language errors and awkward phrases that affect clarity, such as 'by the means time' instead of 'in the meantime.' Paying attention to grammar and vocabulary will help.
task achievement
Expand on the arguments to provide more depth and insights. While the points are valid, they could be further developed with additional examples and explanations.
task achievement
Your first paragraph on why healthcare should be prioritized is effective, but the example of Singapore in the second body paragraph could be more clearly connected to the argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views and provides a clear stance, which is important for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Well-organized structure with clear paragraphs and a logical progression of ideas.
task achievement
Use of relevant and specific examples, such as mentioning Singapore, to support the ideas presented.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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