The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020

#information #numbers #participants #activities #centre #melbourne #australia #period

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The illustrated line graph provides information about the

quantity

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

of people who participated

for

Change preposition

show examples

various activities

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one public area in Melbourne throughout a 20-year period from 2000 to 2020.

Overall

Linking Words

, it is clearly seen that the figure of participants

joined

Correct pronoun usage

who joined

show examples

film

Correct article usage

the film

show examples

club

showed

Verb problem

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

remain

Verb problem

apply

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steady, table tennis activity witnessed an upward trend and the community of

theater

Change the spelling

theatre

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experienced a downward pattern during

this

Linking Words

period of 20 years. In detail, the biggest activity was

film

Correct article usage

the film

show examples

club. Over the period, society joined film

club

Fix the agreement mistake

clubs

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remained

stably

Change the word

stable

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from 2000 to 2020 at just under 65 participants and just over 65 participants, respectively.

This

Linking Words

pattern

similar

Add a missing verb

is similar

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

people who join Martial arts.

In addition

Linking Words

, the number of people at table tennis and musical performances were

increase

Wrong verb form

increased

show examples

to just over 50 and approximately 27 respectively in 2020.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the figure of non-professional dramatics rose in 2005 at around 27

then

Linking Words

decreased gradually between 2010 to 2020.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Tue Aug 13 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

156 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

participants
social centre
comparison
trends
consistently popular
gained popularity
lost popularity
community interest
availability of facilities
social factors
economic factors
external events
economic downturns
health crises
demographic changes
aging population
marketing
community outreach programs
participation rates
Melbourne

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The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020

Some argue that there is no point in spending money on wildlife protection because we humans have no need for them. I totally disagree with this view.

In the modern era, it is easy to sell, buy and work with others through the internet. But others are against it. Do you think this is a positive trend or a negative trend?

Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Nowadays, advertisement targeting children is on the rise. Some people think that it has a negative impact and should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?

Smoking is a habit that claims many lives and is a great drain on health services. One way to combat smoking would be to make it illegal. What are the pros and cons of such a government policy? What alternative strategies can you suggest to combat smoking?